Rock Girls Audery, Ngawodwa and Melissa
WE Rock Girls have been thinking about how boys and men can support girls and women during the 16 Days of Activism of No Violence Against Women and Children.
We spoke to males – from teachers to neighbours, to politicians, to headmasters, to business owners, to criminologists – about the ways in which they hope to fight gender-based violence and be active throughout the 16 Days of Activism campaign, and hopefully beyond.
These are some of the thoughts that we collected:
“(Men) must learn to listen to women... What they actually need. Understand what women's challenges are, and to do things that would help women,” says Hadley Lyons from Bellville, a 45-yearold education project co-ordinator at the Cape Leopard Trust.
“We must not just focus on 16 Days of Activism, we must focus on 365 days every year,” says Sidney Hendricks, a 51-year-old Grade 7 teacher at Red River Primary in Manenberg.
“Always give (women) a platform to express themselves. And help them with the domestic chores. We need equal treatment for both, because we are not superior to women,” said Thando, a 26-year-old aspiring business-owner who lives in the Cape Town CBD.
“Families must revisit the gender roles. This could lead to the removal of stereotypes against females… Boys themselves are victims of violence from these communities so they grow up knowing violence as a sure determinant of their lives,” said Fundile Majola, who works at the provincial Department of Social Development.
“Young men don't know how to behave because they don't usually have role models due to single-parent homes. You get a lot of single mothers who raise children with absent fathers,” says Don Pinnock, a 69-year-old criminologist and investigative journalist from Cederberg.
We are grateful for those who are devoted to combating gender-based violence in the community.
Below are some very important tips that we have not heard, that we wish to challenge boys and men to also commit to:
1) Feminism is not just for our benefit as girls and women. It's for boys and men, too. Boys and men should be encouraged to express themselves in ways that may be traditionally classified as feminine. Masculinity should include healthy ways of expression. Showing emotion should not be reserved only for girls and women. Maybe men won't hurt us out of anger as much if they had healthy outlets to express themselves.
2) Learn to trust us. Learn to talk to us. If you can do this, you will understand us more and we can show you what an amazing support system we can be.
3) Men should not think that, just because they are “the man of the house” women are second. We can protect the house together.
4) Men and boys need to hold each other accountable when girls and women are around – but also when we are not around.