#AllMenAreTrash: Lets talk about it

KARABO Mokoena has, sadly, become famous in death. As horrific details of her murder emerged last week, other women have spoken out about abuse they suffer at the hands of a loved one, with the hashtag #MenAreTrash trending on social media.

South Africa has one of the highest incidents of domestic violence in the world. Every day women and children in this country suffer emotional and physical abuse at the hands of so-called loving partners, and sometimes the abuse leads to death.

Yet it is only when someone well known is involved, or when the details of the case are so horrific, that it even makes front page news and elicits such a response.

Karabo’s is one such tragedy. The young woman’s body was found dumped in the veld near Joburg. She had been doused in acid and her body was burnt beyond recognition.

The boyfriend, with whom she had argued at a nightclub before she disappeared, has been arrested in connection with her murder and defeating the ends of justice, and appeared briefly in court last week.

It has been reported that Karabo had photographed herself after previous abusive episodes and had wanted out of the relationship, but may have been too afraid of what her partner scorned may do to her. Now she is dead.

The court case will run its course, but perhaps Karabo’s legacy will be the public debate it has started; a conversation gender activist Lisa Vetten says we must have.

We need to understand masculinity and what makes good men, especially in the context of our violent society. And we need to give women the power and support they need to get out of abusive relationships before it is too late.

Not all men are trash, as many men responded, but all men must be concerned that there are those among them who would harm and even kill the women they are supposed to love, cherish and protect.