The 10 Days of Penitence are all about forgiveness
THE TEN days between the Jewish New Year and The Day of Atonement (At One Ment) are called the 10 Days of Penitence and they are a special time of the year when we ask for forgiveness from our friends, colleagues and anyone else we may have wronged, or who may have wronged us… or simply where we have erred.
Of course, we should ask for forgiveness as soon as someone has hurt us or as soon as we have hurt someone, or more likely as soon as we have hurt ourselves. We need to go through this forgiveness of each other and ourselves (our selfs = our souls = our bodies = our minds = our MeODeCha (all that we are) (our “muchness”)) because on the Day of Atonement we need to stand close up before G-d in G-d’s Throne Room (KiSei KeVoDeCha)) and ask for forgiveness as G-d looks at our deeds and misdeeds and the things we know and don’t know about ourselves and decides on our future. (Johari Window.)
A Kabbalist approach is that when we hurt ourselves or when we make a mistake or when we judge ourselves, we say “Selach Lanu Avinu Ki Chatanu: Our Father, forgive us because we have sinned”. Sin is a very loaded word, and we can use “erred” instead of “sinned” in the above sentence.
“Forgive us our Father, because we have erred.” Note the plural. An approach which says that I make this prayer on behalf of myself and for anyone else who needs the prayer. (A Buddhist approach as well!) In forgiveness we seek balance. A balanced person is at peace. Hence we constantly pray for peace. A balanced person is whole. Peace in Hebrew has the same consonants as Shalem. Shalem means whole, which happens when I am healed. When I am healed I am at peace!
Balance is so important. It is so easy to “take a stand”. To be right or left! Taking the middle path is no easy feat. It requires stamina and courage and feet. Courage in Hebrew is Etzem Lev, which means independent heart. Need I say more?
A lot of our judgments and sin and error is because of ignorance. I don’t understand you and instead of taking the time to understand the words you are using and the fears and desires you have, I judge you. Some of the time I judge intentionally and some of the time these judgments are subconscious, subliminal or part of my shadow.
The following Buddhist prayer is one that I find useful to ask for your forgiveness and understanding as we journey together for our short time on Earth in this particular life.
“If I have harmed anyone in any way either knowingly or unknowingly through my own confusions, I ask their forgiveness.
“If anyone has harmed me in any way either knowingly or unknowingly through their own confusions, I forgive them.
“And if there is a situation I am not yet ready to forgive, I forgive myself for that.
“For all the ways that I harm myself, negate, doubt, belittle myself, judge or be unkind to myself through my own confusions, I forgive myself.”
If you are wondering how I can use a Buddhist prayer as a Jew, it is because I am a JuBu, a Jewish Buddhist. I am born as a Jew and I have taken refuge as a Buddhist. And I am married to a Christian and am learning about Christian teachings as well. Add Kabbalah, Bodhicitta, meditation, Tai Chi, alchemy, Delphi and Oracle to the mix, and you know who I am.
I forgive you. I ask for your forgiveness. For give ness. That you give me the benefit of the doubt. That you are charitable and compassionate to me. That you love me like I am your child and that I love you like you are my child.
The first Buddhist principle of compassion is generosity. I ask that you are generous in your charity as you look on me and the mistakes and errors I have made in our relationships and that you ask if I have done any of these things maliciously or out of ignorance, or perhaps without even knowing. Whatever your judgement, if you can forgive me, I ask for your forgiveness. If you can’t forgive me, then I ask that you forgive yourself for not being able to forgive me.
At the same time I ask that you accept my forgiveness for any time that I have judged you or found you lacking or when I have been too ignorant to understand your pain and challenge.