Parents should teach their children that ‘less is more’
IF YOUR children have too many toys, it is advised that you get rid of some; as too many toys negatively impact on their ability to focus.
My son’s first sentence was “thank you”, confirming our suspicions that we were the parents of the century. His next phrase, however, was “I want that”, followed soon after with “I don’t want that”, usually rendered in an earsplitting scream. We quickly realised that we’d created a human being with desires and dislikes, after all. Whether babies or adults, we want what we want when we want it. And, in our current culture, many of us can get the things we want when we want them.
As a result, we’re swimming in stuff. Despite smaller families, we now own bigger houses, we drive bigger cars, and our children have more toys than ever before. With the rise in cheap labour, prices have dropped on almost everything, from toys to clothes and more. We can get almost anything we desire delivered to our doorstep with the click of a button. Despite enormous houses, families now spend billions on storage space. New technologies offer us instant access to entertainment anywhere we go.
All this freedom of choice actually makes us more stressed and lonely, less happy, and less motivated. As our options as consumers grow in the Western world, our happiness dwindles. In fact, Western cultures lead the world in depression, anxiety and mental illness at all ages.
Today, any 30-minute TV show includes at least eight minutes of advertisements; and much of the television programming for children is rarely more than a 22-minute commercial for tie-in toys or other merchandise.
Considering all we’re up against, what can we do?
For starters, we can explain to children what marketing is and how it’s designed to fool our brains. Next, we can set limits on buying toys and reserve gifts only for special occasions. This gives children something to look forward to. Thirdly, we can serve as healthy models by not overly engaging in retail therapy. If we regularly send the message to our children that stuff buys happiness, we can’t expect them to learn otherwise.
Children need mastery of their toys, not superficial relationships with as many possessions as possible. You probably noticed early on in your child’s life that children want the same books and games over and over again. The repetition might drive us adults crazy, but it’s actually critical for a child’s cognitive development. Studies show that when children have too many toys, they are less able to focus enough to learn from and master them. You’ve also probably witnessed how creative and engaged children become when they have to invent new toys and games out of virtually nothing. If necessity is the mother of invention, perhaps boredom is its father. In the bestseller The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, Marie Kondo offers some simple advice for letting go of material things. She suggests asking yourself, “Does this item spark joy?” If it does, keep it. If it doesn’t, express your gratitude for the purpose that thing once served and wish it a fond farewell. We can practise this with our children by regularly sorting through old toys and clothes. Yet letting go is hard. Humans have been wired through evolution to believe that having more will make us safer and happier, even when we have more than enough.
Remember, parents: Aim for the middle path. Before the holidays, start by becoming aware and discussing with your children what you really do and don’t need in your life. To organise and let go of stuff before the new-toy onslaught, there are a few ways you can involve them in the process. One idea is to set up a toy swop or a donation drive. Sometimes the motivation for letting go can be as simple as helping others.
But keep in mind that less is more – more space, more time, more money, more creativity, more gratitude, and more harmony and happiness.