Women struggle to talk about safe sex
BELIEFS that a condom hurts the penis during sex or makes sex weak, and that contraception endangers men’s health are just some of the perceptions of young South African women who engage in unprotected sex.
This was revealed in a study published in the SA Medical Journal (SAMJ) this month.
The study looked at young women’s perceptions and experiences of dating younger and older men, and their perceived risks for gender-based violence, and how this impacted on their health.
The publication of the study during Women’s Month highlights the dominance that men still have over women in South Africa, which is mainly expressed through violence, the suppression of women’s individual decision-making – including autonomy over her own body – and the psychological and emotional abuse that women are subjected to.
Women’s issues have been receiving attention as South Africa commemorates Women’s Month in August as a tribute to the thousands of women who marched to the Union Buildings on August 9, 1956, in protest against the extension of the Pass Laws to women. While Women’s Day and Women’s Month commemorate women’s political struggles for equality and freedom post-democracy, this month is also used to highlight women’s struggles such as gender violence, women’s ability to negotiate safe sex, and barriers to socio-economic opportunities.
According to the latest study – which was conducted among rural women in Limpopo and more urbanised women in Gauteng – women who dated younger men versus older men had different perceptions. They revealed that while they found it easy to communicate about condom use with younger men, this was difficult with older men who were feared by these women.
Focusing on young women between 18 and 24 years old, the study was a joint project of Ibis
Reproductive Health in Joburg, Gynuity Health Projects in New York and the Valoyi Traditional Authority Trust in N’wamitwa in Limpopo.
Several women who were interviewed for the study expressed fear of violence by older men and were therefore reluctant to negotiate condom use or request that these men be tested for HIV.
Most women said it was possible to talk to men their age about HIV and condoms, whereas it was very difficult to talk to older men. Several women expressed a fear of violence related to them requesting the use of condoms or an HIV test.
With regards to family planning, both younger and older participants reported that many men would think that they “sleep around” if they used family planning methods. Several older respondents expressed the opinion that it was easier to tell younger partners than older ones about the use of family planning methods, in part because older partners were more interested in having a baby and they “expect you to have a child for them”.
Some of the issues highlighted included the belief that using condoms could physically “hurt” men, that contraception would endanger a man’s health and that raising such issues would “anger” a man or even cause him to desert the woman, leaving her with no financial security.
Others said they were scared to tell older men to use condoms for fear of violence and not wanting to offend these men.
Some expressed that it was harder for them to negotiate safe sex for fear of losing financial security.
The study results didn’t surprise some human rights advocates, who conceded that male dominance, particularly in more traditional communities, remained a growing concern.
People Opposing Women Abuse (Powa) said they faced these struggles daily at their shelters where women are trapped by male dominance linked to financial power over them.
Former UN High Commissioner for Human Rights Judge Navi Pillay said this was an international problem and needed to be seen in the broader context of it actually being a violation of a woman’s right to autonomy over her body.
Pillay said such research presented so much more insight.
“A woman’s entire life is being destined under this pattern of dominance. Dominance is expressed not only through violence, but in ensuring she doesn’t express individual decision-making – including autonomy over her own body. Domestic violence has to be considered in full respect of a woman’s rights. It’s the physical, psychological and emotional abuse that impairs their understanding of who they are.”
Palesa Mpapa, legal and advocacy manager at Powa, said at their shelters they daily come across men who threaten to leave their partners because they use contraception.
“In some cases they are on a pill and this becomes a problem because you can’t hide their contraceptives. We’ve had women in their 30s with three to five children, not working. Chances of exiting and finding independence in these circumstances are slim.
“It’s very important for women to get to a point where they don’t negotiate. Once you can’t negotiate safe sex and contraception, you are susceptible to HIV/Aids and a financially dependent future.”
Mpapa said the issue goes back to women not being able to negotiate their sex and reproductive health due to cultural issues.
“Sex is for the pleasure of a man. That is the society we come from. Parents even tell women that these are not decisions for you to make. We have to educate women. It’s a lack of knowledge. In most cases they don’t even know that they are victims of abuse.”