Mom tries to commit suicide, baby killed
Appears on Suicide Prevention Day
YEARS of abuse for not agreeing to engage in daily sexual activity with her husband drove a 36-year-old Strand mother to attempt suicide in a manner that claimed the life of her 3-week-old son, the Western Cape High Court heard.
As the world commemorated World Suicide Prevention Day yesterday, Ntefeleng Lethetsa testified that she was breastfeeding Relebonhile in April last year when she doused their shack in paraffin and struck a match.
The infant died. The 2-year-old locked in the room with her managed to survive after Lethetsa’s husband, Lehloholo Lebelo, broke a window and saved her and Lethetsa.
It was her plan to kill her children as well, Lethetsa said.
She faces a charge of murder, and two of attempted murder.
The second charge of attempted murder is for Lethetsa’s landlady.
Lethetsa had previously refused to testify in court, but in an application yesterday, she changed her mind and took the stand.
An emotional Lethetsa detailed how she allegedly regularly had to ask Lebelo for grant money to feed their children and buy nappies.
He would often have already spent the money on alcohol, she said.
In December 2014, she reported Lebelo to the police because the children were hungry and he had used the money they had on alcohol.
The couple’s fights would often turn physical, and Lethetsa said she had to seek medical attention twice, once on the instruction of a detective.
She does not have a job and was reliant on her husband.
On the night of the incident, Lethetsa said she had asked Lebelo for money for nappies. When he refused, she said they again had a physical altercation and she called the police.
Lethetsa testified that while waiting for them, Lebelo said he would kill her, and that was when she locked herself in the shack.
“I was living under difficult conditions and being assaulted. I said I would rather kill myself than have him kill me. We were living under difficult conditions,” Lethetsa said.
Asked by Judge Mushtak Parker as to what the reason was behind her decision to take her and her children’s lives, Lethetsa said whenever she wanted something, her husband would ask for sex.
“I thought of killing myself and the children. Whenever I asked for something, I was asked for sex,” she said.
After Lethetsa was pulled out of the flames by Lebelo, she said a neighbour had hidden her from residents and told her she should stay there until police arrived.
“She thought the residents would attack me. When the police arrived, she took me to them,” Lethetsa said.
Judge Parker instructed the investigating officer to take Lethetsa to a private clinical psychologist.
The case has been postponed to next month. Lethetsa is at present out on bail. For free telephonic counselling, call SADAG on 0800 567 567, or visit www.sadag.org for more information, self-help tips, online videos as well as local and international articles on various mental health issues.
“WHEN things get tough, men need to talk, reach out, take action, and look after themselves and each other.”
This was the message from Daryl Brown of the West Coast, who tried to take his own life by throwing himself in front of a train due to depression.
He survived but had to have both legs amputated.
Speaking at a World Suicide Prevention Day event held at the Silo District at the Waterfront yesterday, Brown said he was overwhelmed by depression that had haunted him since childhood and decided to end his life in 2013.
Brown was among three people sitting in barber chairs at the event. Christine Wessels, who lost her boyfriend to suicide, and Cape Mental Health social worker Jonathan Manuel sat by his side at the Movember SA initiative.
The awareness campaign encourages men to talk, under the theme of “Man of More Words”.
“Being depressed is nothing to be ashamed of. Sometimes the greatest courage a man can show is to admit that he needs help. Talking about problems is a sign of strength, not of weakness,” Brown said.
“It is so important that men should realise that they do not have to struggle alone. We are not very good at sharing the stories of our struggles. As men, we feel that we have to deal with everything ourselves, and the consequences of going it alone can be devastating.”
For Wessels no matter how much the sufferer feels they are not needed, life without the person is never better for those left behind. Wessels’ photographer boyfriend Garth Stead took his life nine years ago.
“People tell you that you can’t be responsible for someone else’s life, but the truth is that we are all left with questions. What if I had answered his last message sooner? What if I had done more? What if I had somehow persuaded him to talk to someone, or take medication? I don’t go a day without missing him and wondering if things could have been different,” she said.
According to Men’s Foundation founder and chief executive Garron Gsell, barbers often provide the safe space where men feel free to talk, especially when times get tough, in the confidence that they will be heard.
“Too many men try to deal with challenges on their own and suffer in silence. We’re hoping to show men that talking saves lives.”
For more information on local programmes, visit www.movember.com