Viwe Ndongeni
THE festive break has officially started. We’ve looked forward to this time of the year, and most of us feel more than ready for the break.
However, amid the long, sunshiney days, balmy braai nights and non-stop parties, this is a time that brings its own particular stresses and emotional challenges.
From the guilt of partying too hard to the anxiety of possible low self-esteem, this highly social time is frequently overwhelming in various ways.
About 800 000 people take their own lives every year, with South Africa recording the sixth highest rate of suicide in Africa.
Suicide is the second leading cause of death among those aged 15 to 29, the World Health Organisation said in a new report.
Mindfulness may be the best answer to you to help you survive the festive craze and keep mental illness and suicide at bay.
Professor Emeritus Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder and former director of the Stress Reduction
Clinic at the University of Massachusetts Medical Centre, helped to bring the practice of awareness meditation into mainstream medicine and demonstrated that practising awareness can bring improvements in both physical and psychological symptoms, as well as positive changes in health, attitudes, and behaviours. Psychologist and author of
Noa Belling, gives “matter over mind” tips to get on top of the festive season stresses.
Belling says the connection between mind and body is open and two-way. Using simple physical techniques, we can shift our minds to better states that help us to be more emotionally resilient, present and positively connected to others.
I’m at the office party; it’s crowded and loud, busy and demanding. I’m feeling tired and overwhelmed?
Take a quick break and go for a brief awareness walk. The movement can be calming and will help you reconnect with yourself. This works because when you drop attention down into your body and away from your thoughts of being overwhelmed you ground and centre yourself. As you walk – think only of being in your body,
Take a few deep breaths and notice your feet making contact with the ground. Let go any thoughts about the party and the people. Have a bit of a stretch or briefly massage any tense areas you become aware of in your body.
It’s one of those mandatory family festive gatherings and I am feeling defensive and hostile because I have unresolved tension with a family member?
Pause to use self-supportive touch such as placing a hand, or even just a couple of fingers, on your chest or over your heart.
This can be a tangible reminder of compassion that you can direct as you choose. Assisted by the release of oxytocin through touch, which ignites feelings of nurturing and care, you will be reminded to take care of yourself.
You might even feel inclined to extend kindness and care to others, too, because oxytocin also inspires this.
All tensions can ease to some extent given a little time. You may not feel like you have enough time at the moment, but just a pause to centre back in your heart, perhaps with a few good deep breaths, can also give you more resources to decide how to respond.
I have over-indulged. I am feeling guilty and downhearted. I didn’t stick to my health commitments and my holiday plan. I am ashamed of myself and feeling like I just can’t get this right.
Feelings of shame, self-criticism, inadequacy and guilt can have the same effect on us as trauma. They can cause us to freeze up inside. Then, when we succumb to feeling down, helplessness and hopelessness descend. The effect on our brains is to cut us off from our ability to see a bigger picture and to access higher-level thinking like rationality, creativity and insight.
The effect on our bodies is to keep us in a state of energy depletion that can be demotivating. In a word, you are stuck, and what you need is to get unstuck.
One effective way to do this in the short term is through physical movement or exercise. Moving our bodies gets oxygen and blood flowing to wake up and energise body and mind. Make time for a walk, run, swim, cycle, yoga class or whatever you prefer. Any of these options can build your sense of personal strength, with a boost of feel-good motivation too.
I am feeling mentally and physically exhausted due to the demands of holiday activities. I am out of touch with myself because of all the socialising and attending to others’ needs.
Set aside even a small amount of time each day for you to do something that feeds your body and soul. Even 30 minutes or an hour a day can do the trick. Focus on doing something you love and something your body needs, whether that is activity or rest.
Make a priority of going to the gym, yoga class, reading in your favourite quiet place, meditating, gardening or being creative in your own favourite way. Go with whatever feeds you. We all need this kind of time, no matter the season. SOCIABLE: Friends are the new family, so use the holidays to build and deepen your bonds.