Conmen always come around like clockwork this time of year

NEVER look a gift horse in the mouth, is one way of saying “thanks, I’ll have it”, but when free gold watches are being offered by a stranger, alarm bells should be ringing.

They did for former East Londoner Fred Ericsen-Miller, who went for a stroll in the streets of Kiev, Ukraine, during a visit there recently.

This is his story: “At a car entrance to a building, an immaculate Merc pulls up in front of me with two obviously very fashionably dressed men in it. The passenger rolls down his window and starts talking, or asking me something in Russian. When I can get a word in, I tell him I’m Aussie. “‘What is Aussie?’ he asks. “‘Another name for Australia,’ I reply.

“‘Oh, you Australian,’ he says with a broad smile. ‘Yes.’

“‘I never met Australian before. I am representative of Swiss Cookware Company. Here is my passport.’

“He produces it, shows me the cover and unfolds a cookware brochure, obviously high-quality wares, and says he wants a rep in Oz.

“I decline, saying I’m retired, but he gets out of the car and says to the driver, ‘I want to talk to this man’.

“He opens the back door, takes out a little box, obviously with something valuable in it, opens it, and there is this male and female matching pair of glistening gold watches.

“‘If I give you this,’ he says shoving it into my hand, ‘will you consider being our rep in Australia?’

“Now alarm bells ring. This man is VERY persistent. I take a step back as he begins to crowd into my space.

“I become alert and look around to see if this is a setup of sorts. “‘No thank you, I am retired.’ “‘Look, these are $6 000 watches, yours free if you become agent in Oz.’

“I try to give them back, but he is very persistent. ‘No, take your time and consider our offer, they are yours, even if you decide not to.’

“Now alarm bells ring loudly. You do not give away $6 000 watches to a complete stranger on the street.

“‘No, I could never accept this for nothing.’ “‘Ok, give me $50.’ “‘I don’t have money on me,’ I lie. “‘How come tourist like you walking around with no money?’

“‘I am aware of people being mugged, so I do not carry money on me . . .’

“Another lie, I have a few hundred dollars on me.

“He takes a step closer, closes the box and tries to shove it in my pocket. ‘It is yours for free, I’m sure you will change your mind,’ he says.

“I’m now very nervous, but can’t think of what the trap might be, so I talk loudly for everyone walking past to hear and help if something untoward happens.

“‘NO THANK YOU . . . DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT I DO NOT WANT IT?’

“It has the desired effect and everyone stares as they walk past. ‘Give $5 then,’ he says. I cut him short and thrust the watches back into his hand and yell loudly: ‘NO, I DON’T WANT IT’.

“People now stop and stare. Thank heavens. He returns to the car and they drive off. When I get back to my accommodation, I tell my lady friend Julia about it. She gasps and says I am lucky.

“‘Why?’ ‘Because there have been cases where similar instances have happened, and the poor fellow walks off highly pleased with his freeby,’ Julia says.

“‘Then all hell breaks loose a block later with police sirens blaring, and he is arrested for theft. All are tourists who they have singled out. The conmen lay charges and you could spend months in jail before going to court. The cons then offer to drop the charges for a payment of $10 000. In some cases they settle for $5 000.’

“Drawing attention to my situation made them think twice. I’m happy not to be in jail this morning,” a relieved Fred wrote.

For South Africans, let this be a warning: it’s that time of year when walking through crowded streets and shopping centres has an added risk. Being bumped and shoved on the pavement or jostled through busy aisles in a supermarket, you never know what the person next to you might have in mind. —