Poliszczuk
had worked it out before.”
Can Gretchen (Upholder) spot the types at 50 paces?
“Sometimes people will talk to me for one minute and I know, especially another Upholder – I get that Upholder vibe. There aren’t many of us, so it’s always nice to find one.”
I was, I confess, mildly disappointed at first to discover I was an Obliger – the most common tendency by some distance.
I’m not alone: Obligers and Rebels are the two tendencies most likely to feel stymied by their type’s natural inclinations.
They’ll ask Gretchen if they can change type (the answer’s no).
But, as Gretchen kindly points out, “Obligers have the most to gain from understanding their Tendency – it can be transformative.
“They are the rock of the world. They get on best with others.”
As an Obliger, I meet deadlines (when imposed by others), volunteer and willingly fulfil obligations to my family and friends. I went to a wedding with a trapped gallstone (read: debilitating pain).
But when I promise myself I’ll do a weekly Pilates class/start writing that novel, it doesn’t happen.
Moreover, I am an Obliger married to a high-achieving Upholder.
Work permitting, my barrister husband exercises thrice weekly. Meets self-imposed deadlines. Writes to-do lists that inspire palpitations in me. Gets twitchy if a plan changes.
Not only does he believe in New Year’s resolutions, he has a document, categorised by “life role”.
He sets himself high targets – and meets them.
(This doesn’t make him sound like much fun. I promise, he is.)