WEDDED BLISS
Marriage of two cultures in fine tradition
WHEN an outdoorsy young couple who have strong ties to the Chintsa East community decided to tie the knot, they knew a traditional Xhosa wedding would be the best way to celebrate their union.
Ranger Byron Stanton, 27, who is the son of Inkwenkwezi Private Game Reserve owner Graham Stanton and Areena adventure guide Candice Weskamp, 24, wanted to thank all the people who had contributed to their lives, so they had two weddings – the Xhosa wedding followed by a Western wedding a week later.
After that they jetted off to their Thailand honeymoon on Sunday.
“We have been involved in the community all our lives,” said Stanton.
“I grew up in Inkwenkwezi with Thembeka Goli, who looked after me while my parents were working. She taught me Xhosa and I ate mfino and umngqusho with her every day. Also, all our staff are from the East Coast area.”
Stanton said his new wife had also grown up enjoying close ties with her father’s carpentry workshop staff.
“Many of our staff have been working at Inkwenkwezi for 20 years and my dad donated land so the government could build Byletts School, so my family has a lot of involvement in the community.
“We wanted to bring people together to be part of our day.”
The couple first got to know each other when they were pupils at Lilyfontein School. But the romantic connection was sparked three years ago when they met up at Monty’s Pub.
Much of the organisation of the Xhosa wedding was entrusted to Stanton family friend Mjongile Gogela, 41, who also served as the master of ceremonies and translator of the two-day affair.
“My late father used to work for the Stantons so there is a relationship between me, Graham and his sons,” said Gogela. “I agreed to organise the wedding and explain its cultural significance.
“The traditional Xhosa wedding teaches the couple what they will encounter in life and how to deal with the challenges of marriage. Everyone, excluding the photographer, wore traditional Xhosa clothes. It was very special.”
The ceremony began on Friday with Weskamp being introduced to the ancestors of her fiance’s family so that both families could be united in a ritual called utsiki.
“The makoti (unmarried woman) must not smile or laugh – [this is] to show that it is important to respect people in general as a married person.
“A sheep was slaughtered and she was taken only halfway to the kraal.”
On Saturday a cow was slaughtered and Weskamp, now clad in white clothing, threw a spear into the kraal to signify her acceptance into the family. “It also showed she had conquered all the other girls eyeing Byron. It’s like a victory.”
Stanton said Saturday’s ceremony was extra special because the two families met halfway to the tent and entered it together. “Then people just spoke out. They spoke about my dad and our family and wished us well, saying we are part of the community. Candice was named Sinovuyo, which means ‘we have joy’.”
“We were both nervous because we had never been to a Xhosa wedding and were not sure of what was going to happen, but the reaction and the singing was full of love and we felt embraced. It was one of the most incredible experiences of our lives. It really touched our hearts.”
Gogela said the traditional wedding “joined people together”.
“A lot of white people who attended said they realised how beautiful it was and African people said it was good to see white people in African clothing.
“It should happen more often because it brings people together. It was an experience for people who have lived in East London all their lives but had never experienced this. Everyone was chatting. It was nice. It was a beautiful thing.” –