Good luck honey, you’re joining the Windsors
WHEN Kate Middleton prepared to walk down the aisle of Westminster Abbey to marry Prince William in 2011 her businessman father rehearsed his steps over and over. Such was his dread of letting down his beloved Kate in front of a TV audience estimated at two billion.
“Thank goodness that’s over and I’ll never have to do it again,” said Mike, returning with deep gratitude to the safety of his lawnmower.
The Middletons had to endure snobbish scorn for Mike having been airline personnel. But he was at least familiar with the conventions of British upper-middle class life. For the wedding he’d worn morning dress, knew the hymns and adored his new son-in-law.
Compare and contrast the sad plight of Thomas Markle. Meghan’s father is a hard-up recluse who lives in a run-down Mexican resort. A bear of a man with a pendulous belly, he walks with a defeated lope.
At his own wedding to an enchantingly pretty Doria Ragland in 1979 the then TV lighting director wore an orange shirt under an illfitting grey sports jacket. It was a long way from St George’s Chapel, Windsor.
How daunting it must be to be parachuted into a fearsomely grand wedding ceremony where he knows none of the guests and with zero preparation for the alien clothing and culture.
Kensington Palace reported that Meghan wanted both her parents to be with her on this “happy and important day”. All that was thrown into doubt when it was revealed that Tom Markle had colluded with a British paparazzi photographer, who staged pictures of him being measured for a suit and staring at images of Harry and Meghan.
Although he says his motive wasn’t money, Meghan’s father is now damned as “grasping”, “PRhungry” and guilty of exploiting his royal connection. For his part, he claimed to have suffered a heart attack (who can blame him?).
As a result, he suddenly and shockingly pulled out of Saturday’s ceremony.
It’s been reported that Meghan pleaded with her father to change his mind. But as Prince Harry has a known hatred of the paparazzi whom he blames for his mother’s death, you can see how things might be a bit tense at Wedding HQ.
Picture lovely Meghan: “This is a disaster. I’ve given up my career, I’m holed up here, not allowed to talk to anybody, I can’t trust anyone, I’ve fallen out with my family, my dad’s not coming to my wedding. What the hell have I done?” Honey, you’re joining the Windsors.
As with everything in Britain, it boils down to class. When a reporter broke the news of the impending nuptials to Ava Burrow, Meghan’s step-grandmother, she exclaimed: “Meghan marrying a prince? Who’d have thunk! I guess it’s like your Downton Abbey – and we’re the folks downstairs.” Spot on, madam.
The tragedy is dad and daughter have always enjoyed a special relationship. From the day of her birth, friends recall, Meghan was his princess. It was Thomas who bought two sets of dolls for the little girl he called “Flower” or “Bud”; one was black, the other white, and he wrapped them and put them under the Christmas tree, to represent Meghan’s mixed heritage.
It was Thomas who became the unpaid technical director for every school production his daughter was involved in, teaching her the best poses and angles; Thomas who paid for her schooling and Thomas who was the main carer for much of her childhood.
To not have her father walk her down the aisle on such a historic day, may well be one of those mistakes people look back on when marriages start to unravel.
Meghan excluded her stepsiblings and her wider family, from the invitation list. No matter however disloyal and unsavoury they may be, Meghan may have unwittingly put her father in a lonely position.
Why wasn’t be brought to the UK well in advance, set up in a comfortable hotel, kitted out and put as much at ease as possible? Why, less than 10 days before the wedding, was he still in Mexico, no doubt feeling daunted and anxious and prey to paparazzi schemes?
When Harry first clapped eyes on Meghan he deduced, correctly, “I’ve got to up my game”. Those who climb from downstairs upstairs deserve more credit than those who arrive there by birth, not less. That is one lesson of this modern marriage.
We still don’t know for sure if Tom Markle will be at the church on time. But there’s always Doria Ragland. If she becomes the first woman to give away a daughter to a prince, well, who’d have thunk it? —