Disabled – but undefeated
Adventure and disability will be with us for life.
Everyone will suffer disability of one sort or another, and even lying in bed most of the day and night can be an adventure.
Yes, those who help are saints, but there is a positive side effect of people who put aside the negativities to reach out for the mission of recovery.
I am talking about the patients hey. The ones who need to join the effort in any way left to them. My sister swooped, picked me up and cared for me and my bolted ankle, now also clamped with a giant plastic Devil’s hoof, known in the adventure comic world as an “Aircast!”
It’s a great toy that comes with clasps and velcro and two secret chambers activated by a little finger pump.
Like the wheel clamp of life, Aircast will be with me for 42 days and nights, keeping my healing on the straight and narrow because below my window is that siren Dolores Koan, with her sleek red tank, and her dirty, defiant, knobbled knees calling me, calling…
Sure, she has an indicator hanging like a cyborg’s eyeball from her left fairing, which is ripped and torn.
But with Q-bond and some application, known in biker world as a little T&C along with some choice grunting, Dolores will be put together again and we will ride!
With another six days to while away in my thatched man cave, you’d be wondering, my two dear readers, Glynis and Sam, what the hell is he doing in there?
Well, I have travelled the world! Uncapped Wi-Fi and books have warned me that Oreo munchers may as well be chomping orangutangs because Wilmar, the corporate palm oil producer, is a vital link in the the chain of destruction of their habitat by palm plantation clearing.
My first YouTube download produced these thoughts:
Dolores: “Markel, do you know that you have just gone through rock and rubble and now you are headed for a bush and boulder? And you haven’t even slowed down?” Markel: “Dolores, am I driving?” Dolores: “Markel you are driving …” Muriel and Mavis was followed up with a slew of tutorials on how not to crash your motorcycle on the trail. One action-filled scene of a rider heaving and groaning as he tried in vain to erect his fallen metal steed was quite traumatic!
But I leavened this with endless clips of Donald Trump fighting with umbrellas, reporters and the truth, and an inspirational TED talk by Jim Kwik on the 10 keys to an ageless mind.
Asked to rate myself on stuff like my brain diet, peer group quality, and life long learning, I now know I am a well-mixed Saffa.
Mostly I am a 7/10 guy -- if it wasn’t for the wild men and women I have always hung out with, who of late thrive on braaivleis, beer and burning up gasoline on dirt roads. Thanks for the zero out of 10 Jimmy gives me for that, but hey it is fun and I don’t want to be a life-learning 90-year-old nun, Jim.
In the midst of all these travels in my cave, my daughter sent me a potent drug on an airwave: her boyfriend’s Netflix password.
I quickly signed on as “Kahuna”, just to annoy the boyf though he’s a sweet guy, and quickly fuelled up my painkiller-enhanced musings with a trip to Yosemite.
For hours I was immersed in Valley Uprising, the story of the rebellious counterculture of the valley’s incredible crew of reprobate rock climbing pioneers.
They were breaking through the anal restrictions of conservative, somewhat dumb authority in their quest to climb harder, faster, doing incredible ascents. It helped that I had been there myself, ducked the rangers and climbed the cruisey Snake Dike up the easier bum-shaped side of iconic Half Dome.
The latest style is soloing (no ropes) up hundreds of overhanging metres of rock. If a digit or toe-smear slips on a tiny hold and the climber peels off and starts the 100 mile per hour death plunge, they have a tiny base-jumping parachute on their back to activate.