Painful story of pastor’s abuse

A Polokwane man who was sexually abused by his pastor as a teen finally mustered the courage to own it in 2015.

Now 34, with the pastor convicted of indecent assault and sentenced to jail, the man, who does not want to be named, feels it is time to tell his story in the hope that others will benefit from it.

He joined a church that was new in his community in 1999 and soon after, was invited by the junior pastor to be part of the youth choir, where he was elected as a leader.

“I ended up spending a lot of time at church and would sometimes sleep there because we would finish late, and the junior pastor would offer me a place to sleep to avoid having to walk home late at night,” he said. During those sleepovers, the pastor molested him as they shared a bed.

This continued for two years. Eventually he confided in a church member, who advised him to tell the senior pastor.

“I did tell the pastor but he swept it all under the carpet. He told me that the church would see to it that I received coun- selling, which never happened, and that they would deal with the junior pastor.

“That also didn't happen. “The senior pastor started acting strangely towards me and every time I tried talking to him he would act busy. He also looked at me in a way that I felt as if I had done something wrong and I regretted telling him,” he said.

In 2001 he left the church and turned to drugs.

“At home they noticed my behaviour had changed but they thought it was just a stage that would pass,” he said.

During that time his family and friends did not know about the abuse. He had only told the one church member and the pastor. But as he grew older he had many questions.

In 2007 he went into rehab. But he still felt a void and knew he needed closure.

“My therapists told me I needed to forgive and forget. They also said that the other option was to open a criminal case against the pastor,” he said.

In 2015 he decided to take that route, and in February the pastor was sentenced to five years’ in jail.

He is appealing the sentence.