We’re Queer My Dear
The web-series made for the South African queer community is changing views on LGBTQI+ issues through representation and vulnerability.
There is no doubt that the power of the show lies in this vulnerability
‘We’re Queer My Dear’ (WQMD) is a bi-weekly educational web-series on which the panel of Shenay O’Brien, Tina Redman, Jaco Smith-Venter and Jodi Deerling, along with guests, have important conversations on topics such as religion, equality, homophobia, the South African trans experience and much more.
The show was conceptualised in late 2018; it started as a conversation between director Jennis Williamson and producer O’Brien after the latter encountered a story about a trans child who committed suicide following a lack of acceptance from their parents; even in 2020, there is an immense need for education and representation for the queer community. She decided to take action and created WQMD with the initial aim of providing a “1, 2, 3 coming out guide for the LGBT community... to get educated and receive information and make information accessible so that people can live their life to the fullest”.
Redman jumped at the opportunity to join the show following her own experiences of growing up queer and struggling to find resources and media that represented her. “I know when I was younger I so wanted shows like this. I so wanted people to tell me that it’s okay. I wanted to be educated about this but I just didn’t know where to get that kind of information,” she says.
Smith-Venter spoke of a similar motivation behind joining the show, saying “coming out in the early 2000s there wasn’t really a platform that you could go to really get support. You couldn’t go to the church, you couldn’t go to your parents, you couldn’t go to the school”.
The series takes a personal and conversational approach in each episode, with the panellists and guests speaking from a place of experience and individual knowledge on each topic. While the show was never intended to be so personal, the panellists found that these topics were inextricably linked to their own life stories. “We know someone who’s experienced that, we’ve read about this, we’ve experienced it ourselves and because the show is such a safe space for us to share those things, it just became that,” says Redman. There is no doubt that the power of the show lies in this vulnerability. In speaking about their own experiences, guests and panellists personalise and solidify the queer experience for the viewers.
Guests have included author Landa Mabenga, activist Wade Schaerer, and actor Dihan Schoeman; having guests allows the already diverse panel to extend the representation even further while bringing additional expertise and personal accounts to the topics. “Not only are we learning from them but so is the public and they also see themselves represented... it’s not about us... it’s about all of us,” explains Redman.
The panel is intentionally diverse, each with a unique perspective and life experience. None of them believe they represent any easily definable box. “Society in general tends to have a misconception as to what it [means to be] gay,” explains Smith-Venter.
“It’s okay. You can still be a boer and you can still play rugby and you can still play golf and you can still play tennis and you can also be gay.”
Each panellist experienced a journey of self-discovery through the episodes themselves, demonstrating that queerness, like all personal understanding, is not fixed.
“I feel this kind of internal growth and it makes me feel more confident and it makes me feel more accepting of myself, which is the most powerful feeling,” adds Redman.
The show started as a passion project presented on mambaonline. com, South Africa’s LGBTQIA+ news platform and WQMD’s exclusive media partner. Since then it has gained a few sponsorships, which allowed for a second season to be filmed.
The show has been met with overwhelmingly positive feedback and won the “Media Award of the Year” at the Feather Awards in 2019.
“I was initially scared that there might have been a bit of a larger backlash but to my surprise I haven’t received any negative feedback or criticism in terms of the show but only praise for what we’ve been doing, so that’s kind of been a blessing,” says Smith-Venter.
Both O’Brien and Redman have also received messages asking for advice and resources, which illustrates how the show has become a place to turn to for those looking to learn more.
“That little sentence of ‘I accept you.’ It has such an impact. I don’t think people always realise what [a] change in your life that makes.
When you feel supported. When you feel loved. When you feel like there’s a community out there and individuals who understand you and want to take this journey with you and want to make you live your most authentic life,” says O’Brien.