Why I am out with pride in public office
JULY is known worldwide as Pride month, commemorating the Stonewall demonstrations. Durban holds its annual Gay Pride event a month earlier, this year on June 24.
Members of the LGBTI community are often asked why we have these events. Or we will hear people mutter: “I don’t care about their sexuality, but must they be so open about it?” And this year I decided to think a bit about why I am open about my sexuality as a politician and an elected representative.
My own road to self-acceptance was, like for so many members of the LGBTI community, not an easy one.
Having grown up in a typical Afrikaans home, with strong Calvinist values, attending Afrikaans schools where anyone that does not conform is called a sissie or worse, I refused to acknowledge these feelings I had. I was convinced that if I turned out to be a gay person, my life would be over, I would lose all my friends, my family would turn on me, I would have no career opportunities, I would be excluded from the faith community and I would probably die of HIV/Aids.
These fears were very real to me, and there was no role model for me to look up to. The few homosexuals we knew about in the 1990s were mostly American characters in TV shows, and thus I found no one to break these feelings of fear and self-loathing. So I chose to do all in my power to be normal, to fit in, and have a happy life. But the more I tried to deny my true self, the unhappier I became to the point of being suicidal.
The late 1990s was a time of change for our country and in the field of LGBTI rights, and slowly more and more wellknown South Africans came out in public. People like Justice Edwin Cameron showed us that members of the LGBTI community could serve our country with distinction. More recently, athletes and entertainers have been coming out, and there are more role models for our youth.
But still the fear and the stigma remains. Even though South Africa’s constitution guarantees and protects the rights of the LGBTI community, the reality is very different.
While accurate statistics are not available for South Africa, recent research in the UK has shown that a staggering 44% of LGBTI youth claim to have considered suicide and 52% have harmed themselves at some point. The report states, however, that there is nothing intrinsic about being homosexual or bisexual that makes people susceptible to poor mental health.
The causes of the mental health issues are rather direct homophobia and discrimination, and where LGBTI people are made to feel like secondclass citizens.
Furthermore, violence against the LGBTI community is on the increase.
This is not about whether you believe homosexuality is right or wrong, this is about our humanity. This is about giving our children a chance to live a safe life, to have dreams and aspirations, to be themselves.
I have always been firm in my belief that there should not be pressure on people to come out of the closet – every person knows their own situation, family and risks. But we must create an environment in which people feel safe to come out.
We need more than actors and singers to be out and proud. We need there to be teachers who are open about their sexuality, police officers, accountants and lawyers, we need everyday people to show that they live everyday lives.
We need the world and LGBTI youth to see that your sexuality is not who you are, but it is part of you.
And we need our LGBTI youth to know that they are not second-class. They are like everyone else. And they can be teachers and police officers and accountants and lawyers – or cabaret dancers, interior decorators or hair dressers, if that is what they want.
I am out as a politician, because one young person might look at me and have hope. Maybe by being out, and doing my job as any other person would do it, one young person might feel part of this society.
I am out, because our LGBTI community needs to be seen and heard, in government as much as in everyday life, because whether you believe it right or wrong, we are part of society, of your community, of our community.
Let us continue to build a South Africa that is diverse, that is accepting, that embraces its diversity, and that creates safe environments for our youth to grow. CLLR MARTIN MEYER
WARD 27