Forget the big five
THE MIDDLE Ages were not kind to rats as the good old days of the black plague left them with something of a terrible reputation. Forget the big five. These little critters are the real killers with only mosquitoes responsible for more deaths in history.
Whether you see them as a pet or pests, there is a lot that we can learn from these rodents as we can monitor their behaviour, responses and reactions in a controlled environment in order to evaluate and study ourselves.
We can test medications and treatments on them that are yet to be approved for human consumption, thereby limiting risk to people in the pursuit of a greater good for all mankind. Or, we can simply compare our most undesirable elements to them, further tarnishing their name in the process.
Time has seen them vilified. Possibly, rightly so, as their good personal hygiene and cleanliness is hardly a deterrent for the diseases they often carry. However, their contribution to science cannot and should not be overlooked.
There is a lot we have and can still learn from these animals including who we are, who we can be and who we should become. As homo sapiens, there are many traits we should aspire to adopt from the genus Rattus.
Rats take care of injured and sick rats in their group, while it has also been found that without companionship rats tend to become lonely and depressed. They are also known to have excellent memories and once they learn a navigation route, they will never forget it.
However, not every characteristic is positive. Like us, rats also succumb to peer pressure. Brown rats are prone to disregard personal experiences in order to copy the behaviour of their peers.
The urge to conform is so strong that they will even choose to eat unpalatable food if they are in the company of other rats who are eating it. So, if you find yourself with a rat infestation, the best way to kill off the vermin is to use our shared shortcomings against them.
You can start by getting your hands on some really potent poison or rodenticide, as it is known in the pest control industry.
Place it somewhere close to where the critters have been spotted and wait. In all likelihood, they will get to it eventually and when this happens, hopefully it will kill them good. You should soon find their stiff, furry remains or start smelling them, at the very least.
If the problem persists, you will need to up your game as there is a very good chance that one of our furry friends nibbled at the poison and went home, sick and stinking of it, fighting for his life. His buddies would have seen this and will now know to stay away.
Next, mix the muti with peanut butter, to make it more appealing. Cross your fingers and start counting corpses. This should work but if not, it’s time to bring out the heavy artillery and do what governments and invading forces have been doing to the human population for millennium.
Get them drunk. Rats will pass up on contaminated peanut butter but not booze. They will sample a cocktail of rum and Rattex, get drunk, get sick and go home to sleep it off, or die trying. Should he wake up, the hangover will be fleeting and while he will know perfectly well what made him sick, he will be back for seconds. He will justify his destructive behaviour to his friends and family and even invite them to join him in his indulgence.
Sooner or later, he will die but hopefully, by then, alcoholism has enslaved his entire colony and the bodies keep piling up until there aren’t any left.