GREY MUTTER lance fredericks We can thwart the mouse

EVER since Pinky and the Brain first marched onto television screens some 25 years ago, I have been trying to figure out what would be the best way to actually take over the world.

Brain’s plans, let’s admit, were genius! In one episode he “innocently” buys every property in the world above the 39th floor. And no one picked up on his ploy because it seemed so unrelated to a diabolical plot.

However, our dear, brilliant, lab-engineered mouse kept the other part of his plan secret. You see, he planned to realign and manipulate the Hubble Space Telescope and use it to melt the polar ice caps. The earth would become flooded, but according to his precise calculations mankind would be forced to live in his legally-owned properties … 40 floors up and above.

In this way Brain planned to enslave humanity through a housing crisis after a cataclysmic disaster. Genius! I cannot understand how his plan failed.

It, however, seems that the determined rodent has not given up and has made his way down here to our country. Although I cannot yet see through his plans, currently he has our fellow South Africans down in Cape Town paying around R25 for a five-litre bottle of water! That’s slavery right there!

Maybe he understands the law of supply and demand better than I do.

We can maybe help delay the success of his plans by regularly donating one or two bottles of water to pick-up points dotted around our fair city, so that they can be ferried to the Cape. Imagine how Brain would pull out his hair in frustration when he sees South Africans caring for each other!

Besides, wouldn’t it be nice if they’d send us water if our roles were reversed?

Meanwhile, I promise to keep on washing my car and painstakingly shining the tyres so that there will always be rain in Kimberley.

See? There is no need to fear that we will run out of water.

What we do, however, have to be aware of is the proposed water shutdown planned for Kimberley over the weekend of March 23-25. By now everyone has probably received official notifications in our newspaper and messages over social media regarding the plans and contingencies that have been put in place. It’s important that we do not panic; though experience has shown that it would be wise to plan for an extra few hours beyond the promised time of relief.

It’s always good to prepare for the unexpected. And it has happened before that after the job has been done and the valves are opened a pesky leak is found which has to be repaired before pumping can begin in earnest. So go easy on the water stocks until everything returns to normal.

What we also have to realise and take to heart is the fact that we live in a country that has always, and probably will always, have challenges with the supply of water. We have to learn to be waterwise by nature, even if there is an abundance of the elixir of life at any given time. It’s painful to learn lessons of frugality after living lavishly for too long.

There is no excuse for waste, whether it be water, food or whatever other commodity we think we’ll always have an abundance of. It will be a help to our fragile water reserves if we can learn to take shorter showers, shallower baths and stop using the garden hose to rinse our cars.

Every drop counts, and remember that every drop saved delays the diabolical plans of a genetically engineered laboratory mouse that is just itching to enslave you and your loved-ones.

Ultimately you wouldn’t want to be known as the person who helped Brain take over the world, now would you?