To camp with your better half is a true test of your relationship

Setting up camp with your better half can be a real relationship tester, but Kerrith Fraser reckons she’s found the magic bullet to kill any such conflict before it even rears its ugly head.

They say that if you really want to get to know a person properly, take them camping. They say that camping is the truest test of a relationship, and that if you can camp together, your relationship will weather all sorts of storms. And this philosophy does have its merits. After all, it’s not unusual for the pitching of tents to be the cause of bickering amongst many a couple and groups in general. No matter if you arrive full of goodwill and with a great attitude – setting up camp can convert that blissful feeling, with an almighty suddenness, into fretful muttering, blistering looks, rolling eyes, loud sighs, deep breathing, huffs, and general bad behaviour. To take the tension up a notch or two (or three hundred), try pitching a tent in: 1.The wind 2.The rain 3.The wind and rain Perhaps throw in a 12-hour drive to get to your campsite, or a vehicle mishap such as getting bogged down in the mud or severing the main springblade in the spring pack. Or maybe arrive just as the sun is setting on a long and tiresome day only to see the darn lions are still sitting underneath their tree… right in the centre of your allocated campsite. If there’s any lack of communication skills, it’s sure to reveal itself under these conditions. After witnessing – and experiencing – this phenomenon on multiple occasions, my partner and I decided one day that a solution to this dilemma was necessary. It did not bode well to begin a holiday cursing and moaning at each other’s ineptitude at erecting a tent, or not accomplishing some other inane task with the speed and efficiency that you may personally want. So, off to the drawing board we went.

We began by allocating certain tasks to each other. This worked well; I knew I had to inflate the mattress and arrange the bedroom and kitchen, and he had to set up our electricity and unload the bedroom and kitchen goodies. But it was still the joint tasks that caused friction: erecting the blerry tents. Then we decided that one person would issue all the commands. This person would be “in charge” of constructing the tents, issuing vocal instructions as direction. But this didn’t work either. See, no matter how sweetly you convey the message, “Stop doing what you’re doing!” never goes down well. We then decided to swap roles. I guess you can already imagine how well that turned out. Staying silent? Nope, not a good strategy either. The words “You’re doing it wrong!” just seem to come out involuntarily when someone is really applying their stupid to a task. So did we actually find a solution for combating tent erection dysfunctions? Well, yes and no. It’s not something we actually advocate, but it does work for us. Upon arriving at said campsite, under either good conditions or severe ones, we immediately sit down and gaze quietly at the location, mentally mapping out the site.We then discuss the best options with the tents chosen for this excursion. Yes, all quite normal and genteel. But here comes the important part: We then each have a beer or cider.We enjoy the venue, we look around, and we knock back that brew! Magically we become that couple who are always 100% a loving, supporting and nurturing pair who laugh, have fun and never, ever, squabble. The actual pitching of the tent takes a bit longer, but we are much, much more patient with each other.We allow one another our moment (or moments) of complete and utter incompetence with good-natured jocularity.We grin and laugh at our silliness through howling rainstorms and gusting winds. Our holidays are now much more relaxed.We have fun and we don’t take anything so very seriously. And at the end of the break, we’re still on speaking terms with each other and enjoy each other’s company.

The trick, however, is to do this each and every time before erecting the tent. We’ve set up our tents from first light to the early morning hours, so our solution means that we must pop the top at whatever time of day it’s required! But our plan has never failed us, and hopefully this tried-and-trusted method will save a few marriages or allow a few more relationships to grow and blossom in the great outdoors.