JENNIFER GARNER: LIFE AFTER LOVE

She’s funny, charismatic and authentic – and has delivered a masterclass in how to get divorced with grace and integrity.

Silent and centred through the worst of the tabloid storm, the actress finally opens up about her divorce

Jennifer Garner is currently appearing in Miracles from Heaven, which could be one of the most moving films of the year. In this true-life drama, she plays Christy Beam, whose daughter is diagnosed with an incurable gestational disease, which is miraculously healed after a traumatic accident. Jennifer is brilliant in the role. Her portrayal of Christy is one of steadfast dedication to her family – an approach that resonates with her own life.

The announcement last year of the end of her 10-year marriage to Ben Affleck was met with sadness, rather than the speculative curiosity celebrity splits are usually subjected to. The actors met on the set of Pearl Harbour, but it was while working together on Daredevil that they fell in love. They started dating in August 2004, were engaged the following April and eloped in June the year after that. Their daughter Violet (10) was born soon afterwards, followed by Seraphina (7) and Samuel (4).

Ben, well known for his talent as a writer (he co-wrote the screenplay for Good Will Hunting with his long-time friend Matt Damon), was equally well known for being difficult. Stories of his gambling and womanising are legendary. But he seemed to calm down and welcome the happiness and stability of the domestic life he shared with Jennifer. And she clearly adored him. What became clear, though, in an exclusive interview she recently gave to Vanity Fair, was that she was also never blind to his faults. ‘I always say: “When his sun shines on you, you feel it. But when the sun is shining elsewhere, it’s cold. He can cast quite a shadow.”’ The line is paraphrased from The Talented

Mr Ripley, a film starring Matt Damon, ironically, but it does

seem to apply particularly well to Ben.

News of their divorce seemed to be precipitated by the affair Ben had had with the kids’ nanny. Not so, according to Jennifer. ‘We’d been separated for months before I heard about the nanny. She had nothing to do with our decision to divorce,’ she said, before humorously adding, ‘Bad judgement? Yes. It’s not great for your kids for [a nanny] to disappear from their lives.’ It seems Jennifer has no intention of alienating Ben from their children’s lives, no matter what he did.

Jennifer has always been grounded and family-oriented, which is partly what makes her such an excellent mother. Over the years, tabloid pictures have shown her playing with the kids in a park, shopping with them, eating ice cream and strolling down the street, even standing outside grocery stores helping her daughters sell Girl Scout cookies – pretty much what most moms would do with their children.

But this sort of scrutiny will come to an end, thanks to a new law she’s been actively involved in getting passed in California. It prohibits the paparazzi from harassing children. And it’s not just celebrity kids she’s concerned about. Jennifer also serves on the board of Save the Children, an organisation dedicated to bettering the lives of kids around the world.

Unlike many movie star parents, Jennifer seems to truly understand the value of childhood. The 44-yearold has led a relatively down-to-earth life. No photos of her spilling out of a club inebriated – unless by ‘club’ you mean Martha Stewart’s house and by ‘drunk’ you mean fizzed up on champers while baking cookies and giving Martha hilarious nicknames. She knows it’s this ‘ordinary’ background that’s kept her grounded. ‘When the earth shakes,’ she told Vanity Fair, ‘you go to what you know from childhood. All of a sudden I’m sitting down at the piano. I went back to church.’

Part of giving her kids the gift of a ‘normal’ childhood means not taking on acting roles they’d find embarrassing or shocking, so most of the movies Jennifer chooses are family-friendly (arguably to the detriment of her own career), such as Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day and The Odd Life of Timothy Green.

In her latest role in Nine Lives, due for release later this year, Jennifer plays the emotionally neglected wife of a businessman, played by Kevin Spacey. Spacey’s character gets stuck inside the family’s cat, thus receiving a cosmic lesson in how to appreciate his family.

Jen’s been acting since 1995, but her big break came after the 2000 cult classic Dude, Where’s My Car? This was followed by her role in Pearl Harbour. She can seamlessly transition between portraying a badass assassin like Sydney Bristow in TV series Alias to a loving mother in Juno, and her comic timing was impeccable in Butter and The Invention of Lying. Yet the safe acting choices she’s made mean she’s managed to fly just under the Hollywood radar.

But given the opportunity, she’s always risen to the occasion. The male leads she’s worked with have expressed nothing but respect and admiration for

her. Matthew McConaughey, her co-star in Dallas Buyers Club, says, ‘Jennifer always brings a simple humanity to whatever she does.’ Steve Carell, who worked with her on Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, said, ‘She’s even better in person than you would have imagined. Everyone knows she’s incredibly talented, and she’s a very kind and warm person. But beyond that, she’s bitingly funny. She can have a caustic sense of humour and a sophisticated sense of humour. She’s not all puppy dogs and ice cream. There’s real depth and weight to her.’ JJ Abrams, producer of Alias and Star Wars: The Force Awakens said of her, ‘I don’t remember having more fun working with anyone than I’ve had working with her. She’s smart-funny – she makes you want to be funnier and smarter. When you throw the best you’ve got her way, she’ll make it better. No one’s perfect. But no one’s Jen Garner. She’s on the cusp of the most interesting, the most complex and satisfying roles as an actor.’

Victor Garber – who played Sydney’s father, Jack Bristow, in Alias – probably put it best. ‘She’s becoming the person I could see in her that she almost couldn’t see in herself,’ he said. ‘Her strength, her fortitude – I think she went from someone who wanted to take care of everybody to someone who said, “In order to do that I have to really take care of myself.”’

Part of that shift was Jen’s decision, shortly after the announcement of her divorce, to unplug completely. ‘I turned CNN on one day,’ she says, ‘and there we were. I just won’t do it any more. Ben says, “Oh, you just don’t care,” and I say, “No, it’s the opposite.” I cannot be driven by the optics of this. I cannot let anger or hurt be my engine. I need to move with the big picture always on my mind, and the kids first and foremost.’

Speaking of big pictures – what does she think of the giant tattoo of a rising phoenix that Ben has had etched on his back? ‘You know what we would say in my hometown about that? “Bless his heart.” A phoenix rising from the ashes. Am I the ashes in this scenario?’ she says with a wink. ‘I refuse to be the ashes.’

Part of giving her children the gift of a ‘normal’ childhood means not taking on acting roles they would find embarrassing or shocking.