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WINNING LETTER Another perspective on divorce

The article ‘Should you stay together for the kids? (January 2017) has not left my thoughts since I read it. Discussing the topic with others, it became clear, within my circle at least, that much of what the article says goes against the grain. I greatly appreciated hearing an alternative argument about divorce – it was what I needed to hear.

The two things that struck home most were, first, about mourning the loss of your marriage the marriage and, second, restoring your sense of selfworth as lovable. I am in a difficult relationship and I have been unhappy for some time. My husband has been depressed for so long, and all his energy goes into coping and being a father, leaving nothing for me and us. At best, I feel I share children with a grumpy housemate. At worst, it feels as if we are all held hostage to his misery.

To avoid running into the arms of another last year, I decided to see a therapist. The journey has helped me to appreciate that I am lovable and worthy of love whether or not I am loved at present in this relationship. This has greatly reduced our fighting. I find I have a little more compassion for myself and much less resentment towards my husband. I don’t know exactly what lies ahead; there are many broken things that need attention from us. What I do know is that I am in a stronger, wiser, calmer place and that I have the strength to make considered decisions about what is best for me and for our children.

I am writing in the hopes that my words might encourage someone else.

Name withheld

Ed: I hope the compassionate space you have worked so hard to build has positive results for all of you this year.