HEATHER & MARK
A 13-year age gap
Heather is almost 69, Mark is 56. They met and married when Heather was 35 and Mark was 22. Their triplet children, Matthew, Andrew and Amy, are well-adjusted young adults.
‘I was 35 and living in Cape Town when Mark arrived in my life. A friend who was coming to visit had taken a lift from Johannesburg with a young man coming to Cape Town on holiday. After a long trip (the speed limit was 80km/hr in those days), they arrived just before dark to find a wellestablished fire burning in my kitchen: a chip pan had caught alight and had set the kitchen ablaze.
‘A dramatic introduction! But after helping to put out the fire, he stayed to help clean up the mess.’
It took three days to clean the kitchen and scrape the walls. Three days of chatting and working side by side was all it took: Mark asked Heather to marry him. She took him to lunch at her parents’ home and, afterwards, sitting on Clovelly Beach, she gave him her answer: yes! ‘He’d made his decision; that’s how he is. He always says, “If you see something, don’t think it’s going to be there when you come back.”’ Six weeks later, they were married.
After a few years of living in mining towns upcountry, they returned to Cape Town to start a family. The triplets were born through an in-vitro programme when Heather was 41. Mark commuted between his work on the mines and Cape Town while Heather took care of the triplets and ran an industrial laundry from home. ‘We had this gang of flying children; it was wonderful chaos!’
People were generally positive, says Heather. ‘He was so mature at 22, and I was quite naïve.
‘He is a very interesting man. He calls a spade a front-end loader, and is unsympathetic when you’re feeling sorry for yourself, but he’s visionary when it comes to other people’s real needs. If you ask his advice and take it, it will change your life in a wonderful way. He’s always uplifting people; he is the most generous man I know.’
Though the two are opposites, they’re in agreement about all the important things, she says. ‘He’s highly responsive to important issues and massively faithful to his family. I was incredibly fortunate – I’m not an adventurous person and I took a leap of faith. I don’t have a single regret. I would do it all again! I cannot imagine what life would be like with someone else. I love the life that we have. Age is irrelevant.’
‘I’m not an adventurous person and I took a leap of faith. I don’t have a single regret.’