LETTER FROM LISBON

It’s impossible not to sound like a total ass saying this, so I’m just going to come right out with it: I am writing this from a tiny little restaurant in Lisbon, about to dig into a steaming plate of clam and pork while trying very subtly to photograph the scene. Sadly, they don’t turn out to be the joyous photographs I wanted, because Portugal is playing soccer against Chile and, with a 0-0 score, things are a tad tense out here in the old city. (Oooops – they’ve just lost in a penalty shoot-out. A guy in the corner literally dropped his head into his food in despair).

But here’s why I don’t feel at all bad about being a total ass: this meal (delicious, by the way), cost 5 euro. With lovely wine. And entertainment – how often have you seen someone collapse into their plate from acute soccer? Plus, this morning I had, quite possibly, the best pastel de nata ever (actually, it might have been two of the best pastéis de nata ever – it’s hard to count with the sun in your eyes), accompanied by great coffee – for 3 euro. And then there’s the fact that people routinely eat in restaurants on their own here, as I’m doing right now – but they’re not really alone, because there are loads of people doing it and it’s considered a perfectly normal thing to do.

I think I’m actually trying to make two points here. The first is that we don’t need to feel ghetto-ised as South Africans: even while the Rand plummets and Zupta giggles, we can still experience other countries and cultures.

And Portugal is one of the most culturally interesting countries I’ve been to in a long time. I already knew I would love it when a guy on the plane coming over, who must have been in his late 60s, turned around and knelt on his seat to play cards with the people in the row behind him. Then when the drinks trolley came down, everyone got up and congregated in the aisle, drinking red wine and talking, exactly like they were having a party with their oldest mates. In the trams, everyone jabbers away to everyone else. (Someone should make an installation of the sounds in public transport in various countries – it’s so indicative of the gees of the place).

The other point is that about seven years ago, Portugal was pretty much where South Africa is now – in flat-out economic crisis. Downgraded, bailed out and rife with corruption, it looked like it was all over. But in 2014 they started arresting the corrupt government officials who hadn’t already been forced to resign, they created jobs by making it easier to do business – and they started to flourish.

I have absolutely no doubt that we’ll get there too, and that we will absolutely fly when we do.

Until then, keep warm and snug!