Some tips on how to gossip – without being a gossip

• Keep some things to yourself.

If something is told to you in confidence, keep the secret – especially if the info is sensitive and disclosing it can have farreaching consequences that you don’t want to be held responsible for.

• Don’t enjoy it too much,

or let it become your distinguishing trait. We all know that person who starts every story with: ‘Don’t tell anyone I told you this, but…’ ‘The town gossip is really someone whose style is a little off,’ says psychologist Sarah Wert. ‘We all gossip, but they are too blatant about it.’

• Choose the right topic.

Gossip is a lot more interesting if you both know something about the subject; no one really cares about the vaguely interesting thing that happened to your sister’s colleague’s friend. People tend to be more interested in their peers as well.

• Know when to shut it down.

If you feel the topic is unfair, don’t go along with it. Let’s say you hear a nasty story about a colleague that you have found to be hardworking and reliable. A simple ‘That doesn’t sound like Peter; he’s always so polite’, can stop a rumour in its tracks.

• Not keen to join in?

Smile, make a lighthearted comment, then steer the conversation in a different direction. ‘Return their overtures in spirit, but not in content,’ says Wert.