OVER THE MOON
When the chickens finally come home to roost for the state capturers, you’ll find me in Plett, sipping rosé and enjoying the view
When I was a kid in good old Hammanskraal, we had a teacher who would rush into class on Thursday mornings, brandishing a stick. We knew: Thursday was Afrikaans poetry day. And those poems were damned difficult to memorise and recite.
“You’d better know your recitations or die poppe gaan dans [the dolls will dance],” he would threaten.
The Afrikaans lesson was at the end of the day, so you can imagine what happened. Fear set in early in the morning. There would be runny tummies, heart palpitations and kids hyperventilating all day. The queue at the toilets was long.
So, dear reader, I advise you not to visit our administrative capital, Tshwane, in the next few weeks. The queues at government office bathrooms will be long. Politicians will be hyperventilating.
The Hawks investigative unit has finally, after years of slumber, found its gonads. Last week, Hawks members raided the Free State agriculture department in search of evidence that mineral resources minister Mosebenzi Zwane helped steal R220m from poor farmers and give it to the Guptas.
Plus, a judicial commission of inquiry is about to start looking into state capture. And the Eskom board has been cleared out.
It’s a new dawn, folks, and I tell you now there are loads of runny tummies in Tshwane. Shredders are in full swing. People are going to jail. Before long Duduzane Zuma will have vacated his plush Dubai apartment and will be sharing a cell with Zwane, resplendent in orange overalls.
It couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of guys. Die poppe gaan dans!
When they are all in jail, the first thing I’ll do is book myself into Emily Moon River Lodge in Plettenberg Bay, reserve a table at its restaurant and have lunch and dinner there for a couple of days.
Six years ago, when Zuma was flexing his muscles, I enthused about this restaurant. Last month I went again.
What a delight! We were famished but hadn’t made a reservation. It gets packed in the holiday season. Thankfully, after cajoling from my lovely wife, they “made a plan”.
The view from the restaurant balcony of the winding Bitou River and the wetland beyond is still one of the most awesome you will see in SA.
We were welcomed by a professional, charming, efficient gentleman called Kaizer Maseti, who offered us menus, drinks and his recommendations. Hot and sunny weather dictated that we have the Almenkerk Lace rosé, which was delicious, while the kids had the Mango Mule and Lavender Lemonade.
The menu is focused and petite: pasta, steak, fish and chips, burgers and a few others. The last time I ate here the seafood pomodoro didn’t receive rave reviews. On the new menu there is a seafood linguine al cartoccio (cooked in a paper bag), which my daughter ordered. It is possibly the best pasta dish I have ever tasted. Wow!
I had the fillet, medium rare; it came as ordered and was succulent, sweet, tasty, beautiful. The hake and fennel salad was delicious. Even the burger was perfect, from patty to bun. Everyone was happy, but we got happier still when our crème brûlée and coconut panna cotta desserts came. They were absolutely divine.
I cannot wait to go back for my own cartoccio.
Emily’s Restaurant ★★★★½
Emily Moon River Lodge 1 Rietvlei Road, Plettenberg Bay Tel: (044) 501-2500
★★★★★ Thuli Madonsela ★★★★ Excellent ★★★ Good ★★ Poor ★ Mosebenzi Zwane
Before long Duduzane Zuma will have vacated his Dubai apartment and will be sharing a cell with Zwane, resplendent in orange overalls