A LACK OF CONTENT

Any sane individual with a modicum of common decency would be holed up in his house, cringing and praying. Not Hlaudi

The remarkable thing about Hlaudi Motsoeneng is that you never know when to stop laughing and when to start crying. We laughed when he appointed two bodyguards to accompany him wherever he went, including inside the SABC buildings. We should have started howling in outrage at taxpayers’ funds being squandered with such impunity.

We also laughed when he started referring to himself in the third person, when we should have called him out for throwing his weight around, firing competent managers, in the editorial and financial departments alike, only to surround himself with sycophants who would cater to his every whim.

By the time he was finally given the heave-ho from the public broadcaster, after rewarding himself with a performance bonus of R11.4m in 2016, we had stopped laughing.

But it was too late. The public broadcaster was in the financial doldrums and Motsoeneng was entitled to a multimillion-rand pension.

The SABC is now seeking an interim order to stop its pension fund, a separate entity, from paying Motsoeneng the pension.

The former SABC boss is embroiled in another legal battle with the Special Investigating Unit, which is trying to recover more than R20m, including money lost through unfair dismissals and appointments during Motsoeneng’s tenure.

His lawyers have argued that new evidence brought by the SABC should be deemed inadmissible after they accused the broadcaster of trying to open a new case against him.

Any sane individual with a modicum of common decency and respect for societal norms would be holed up in his house, cringing and praying. Not him.

The motormouth former COO of the SABC is in the streets, promoting his newly formed political party. It is called the African Content Movement.

His campaigning ticket is simply that the public broadcaster should focus on offering its viewers and listeners programmes that are Afrocentric. Huh?

Addressing his followers, who had gathered outside the Johannesburg high court where the interim order hearing was taking place, Motsoeneng used the platform not to address the pension issue but to promote his party, which is going head to head with such established entities as the ANC and DA in this year’s elections.

He said: “I am going to shock SA because I am going to run and lead SA as president. Don’t listen to the politicians now. The only person that you need to listen to and the only person who will deliver is Hlaudi.”

A part of me wants to laugh, but another part is disgusted. When I am torn between laughing and crying, I sometimes seek solace in food.

Which is why, upon reading about Motsoeneng’s latest shenanigans, I decided to visit an Egyptian restaurant recommended by a friend. I needed something spicy.

The Food Museum is a cavernous, tastefully decorated eatery. Imagine my disappointment when I sat down and opened the menu, only to discover that the place is halaal. So, no wine to go with my meal.

I shrugged and ordered what sounded like a seductive dish — classic sayadieh prawns. But the kitchen staff said they’d run out of prawns. What?

I tried to order Egyptian molokhiyah tagine. Again, not available. I should have left but I was too hungry to get up. So I settled for the “sizzling platter” — chicken shish kebab, quarter chicken, beef kebab cutlets, with roti and rice.

While the waiter was friendly and efficient, the food was atrocious. It was an ordeal — for which I paid R200 including two cans of Appletiser.

By the time he was given the heave-ho, after rewarding himself with a bonus of R11.4m, we had stopped laughing. But it was too late

The Food Museum ★

117 William Road (cnr Grant Ave), Norwood, Johannesburg Tel: 011-483-0598

★★★★★ Panyaza Lesufi

★★★★ Mmusi Maimane

★★★ Cyril Ramaphosa

★★ Bathabile Dlamini

★ Hlaudi Motsoeneng