SEEKING PERSUASIVE POSTERS

So what is the point of the posters decorating our streets? Struggling to find a party worth voting for, I have taken an interest in the posters, hoping some party will finally be able to communicate clearly in them. But all they seem to offer is a mugshot of a grinning politician. Of course no poster would be complete without a few words giving the party’s best promise.

So in that regard, and after 25 years of empty promises, the ANC has moved on from promising “A better life for all”. It has finally dawned on the leadership that, while a lot has been achieved in the quest to deliver “a better life for all”, you can’t keep promising the same thing without delivering. Same goes for “vote for jobs, peace and freedom”.

You don’t want to even mention the word “jobs”. There may be a lot of freedom of speech but with our murder rate there’s no peace. So, comrades, let’s find something different.

“The power is in your hands” sounds more catchy, and vague enough, the comrades decided. But I can hear the campaign chief berating the wag who pipes up with: “Yes, even if there’s no power and street lights are dark, our people know the power is in their hands. Just not in their houses or the electricity poles.”

I looked to see what the DA offered. “Load-shedding proudly brought to you by the ANC,” screamed a board on the highway. I thought we all knew that.

“Equal opportunity for all,” screams one. And the preachy but hollow leader kept reiterating the message, even if he’s got only a few months left in his job.

I broadened my search. “Son of the soil,” screams a poster on my way to work. Julius Malema is doing his best to look serious and angry. I think the face is preparing the viewer for the next EFF poster: “Our land and jobs now”.

Except that when Malema last owned any piece of land, the SA Revenue Service made sure it would not let him get away without paying his enormous taxes. He’s never told anyone how he incurred about R18m in income tax on a R20,000 monthly salary.

It dawned on me the man didn’t even have any land any more, yet he’s promising to give land to others. As for jobs! He’s never held a day’s paid job. Real job I mean, not being looked after by the party and state. So I was left wondering who would trust him.

Old enough to know better?

Then I tried, in vain, to find a party that promises to make the tax laws transparent. I want to know what tax my leaders pay. Politicians and businesspeople alike. But then again, turkeys don’t vote for Christmas.

Then the oldest politician on the ballot claimed all that trust for himself. Mangosuthu Buthelezi is old enough to know that all the clever words on campaign posters don’t translate to votes. “Sethembe” is a simple request. Trust Buthelezi? With what exactly?

The last time he and the IFP held any power, a lot of people died in the townships and rural areas of

Natal for the simple crime of demanding the freedom to choose who governed them. His reign of terror inspired maskandi musicians to compose timeless protest hits, such as Phuzekhemisi’s Imbizo (protesting about the fees extorted by Buthelezi’s chiefs).

At least the IFP promised to call a referendum on the death penalty if it won. Had I found one thing I could vote for? No, by the time the next parliament is inaugurated, Buthelezi will have retired to his palace to reminisce about a political career longer than any in democratic SA. If only he could stay on ... perhaps he’d register one success worth boasting about when he meets his erstwhile comrades, Nelson Mandela, Lucas Mangope and Albert Luthuli, in the hereafter.

But then again, perhaps he may not get to go to the place where Mandela and Luthuli are …

A lot of people died in Natal for the simple crime of demanding the freedom to choose who governed them