Money Do you ‘SUI’? (That’s ‘Shop Under The In uence’.)

That’s ‘Shop Under The Influence’. Alcohol + online shopping = bad idea. The plus side? Those Merlot-fuelled orders can be funny!

“I got drunk and watched the Drew Barrymore film Whip It, decided I needed to join a roller derby team and proceeded to buy the entire set of skating gear, setting me back R4 300. I’d already cancelled my application to the derby (although my roller derby name of Cam-i-kaze would have been ace), when knee pads and mouth guards started arriving. I had to sell it all back online. The worst thing is, I can’t even Rollerblade!” – Camilla, 29

“I went through a phase of buying eye-wateringly expensive crystal decanters online – like some kind of lord. I had an actual collection in the end.” – Katie, 33

“When my neighbour SMSED me saying he had ‘my bike’ and asking when I wanted to collect it, I was puzzled. Then the 2am plans to train for a triathlon came back.” – Victoria, 30

“I bought a ‘cool’ leather choker. Which turned out to be a dog collar.”

“In a vodka-triggered ‘I’m an empowered woman, I don’t need a man, I’m going to send myself flowers’ moment, I hit up Interflora. Yep, talk about cringe. When they arrived at my apartment, I threw the bouquet away.” – Emily, 28 – Colette, 23

“I bought my other half an ipad with ‘sexy pants’ engraved on it after too many glasses of wine. He got an ipad case to cover it up.” – Leila, 26

“I was boozily browsing a site called Artfinder, and ordered a painting of a llama with the words, ‘Bohemian Llama says drink good beer’ on it. What was I thinking?” – Jen, 29

“I signed up to a UNISA undergraduate course in classical studies, and had to phone them the next day to explain. Worst hangover ever.” – Lorna, 29

“I bought aeroplane tickets to New York on a credit card, and completely forgot until I got the flight reminder email a week before I was due to leave, and then had to go.” – Emma, 26

“An inspired ‘business plan’ came to me over a bottle of Merlot. The result was 3 000 glass beads for my ‘jewellery empire’. My housemate nearly wet herself laughing when she signed for the delivery.” – Julia, 30