And now a word from your male followers
Your social media is how men see you, so our GLAMOUR Man tells us exactly what they’re looking at.
The other night, a friend mentioned an upcoming blind date with a girl we’ll call Jenny. There were a few of us at supper, and we were curious about this Jenny, so what happened next? We took to our phones.
Within 30 seconds, we’d learnt that Jenny was an art history major who owned a dog (thanks, Facebook); that she’d spent last New Year’s eve with an ex she met at a music festival (hat tip to Instagram); and that the relationship ended roughly six weeks ago (confirmed by a pointed tweet about catching up on The Fixer alone on a Friday night). Basically, my friend knew Jenny’s entire life story before even meeting her.
This is all a long way of saying that, in 2016, guys spend a lot of time reading the tea leaves of your various social media profiles, and yes, we use this information to make snap judgements about you – just as you do with us.
Sometimes the digital stalking happens before we meet you, sometimes after, sometimes when we’re trying to figure out what you’re doing when you haven’t SMSED us back, but regardless of when, here’s what we’re looking at: Whom you’ve dated, when you dated them, how long it lasted – if it’s out there, we’re getting to the bottom of it. (Men are particularly interested in how we stack up against your exes; while ‘researching’ Jenny, we took a five-minute detour to her ex-boyfriend’s Instagram. His shirtless selfies were not good news for my friend.)
Some other questions we’re asking: are you looking for a serious relationship? (If we can spot evidence of more than one long-term relationship, we’re assuming you’re in the market for another.) Are you game for a hook-up? (Be warned: changing your profile picture to something super attractive is code for “I just broke up with someone, and I would like to start receiving attention now.”) All of this influences our approach. to make sure that there’s no overlap between us and anyone you know (and, crucially, to make sure we haven’t dated that overlap). On a personal level, we’re judging your friends. Especially the one who tags everything #squadgoals.
“My boyfriend leaves for work super early every day. As I’m always dead to the world, he says goodbye by planting a kiss on my forehead. It brings a smile to my face every morning.”
– Sagina, 31
“In winter, when it’s really frosty, I can guarantee I’ll come outside to find my husband has already scraped the ice off my car. It always makes me smile, as I’d be dreading having to do it. And while we’re on the cold theme, he also gets into bed before I do, on my side to warm it up, as he knows how much I hate getting into a chilly bed!” – Rachel, 35