Love The friendlover bal­ance

We hope our BFFS and part­ners will get along – but even when they don’t, there’s a way to jug­gle ro­mance with your so­cial cir­cle.

Glamour (South Africa) - - All About You -

You think your friends are the great­est things since Gummy Bears; your sig­nif­i­cant other thinks theirs are the next Will and Grace. So what could be bet­ter than ev­ery­one hang­ing out, host­ing braais, tak­ing hol­i­days to­gether and, you know, pos­si­bly mar­ry­ing off in one big group wed­ding? Well, we’re sorry to say, there’s a lot more to it. The things you re­spect in a friend might not co­in­cide with what your part­ner looks for in theirs. You might not even like their friends. (In fact, we guar­an­tee you’ll de­test at least one.) Still, spend­ing time among each other’s so­cial cir­cles is a great way to learn more about the per­son you’re with, how they re­late to peo­ple and what they value most. And don’t for­get, you’ll surely get to hear some hi­lar­i­ous sto­ries from their past. Here are four guide­lines for mak­ing it work. Host a fun-hearted game night or awards-show view­ing party and see what hap­pens. Suc­cess? Then gather ev­ery­one (again!) for a flash-mob dance of joy, be­cause this is a real win­win! Just don’t spend all of your time to­gether – you still need in­ti­mate cou­ple time, in­tro­spec­tive alone time and pre­cious one-onone time with the peo­ple you care about. This may be the more likely sce­nario. Chances are, your uber-wealthy trust-fund BFF and your part­ner’s art-school pal won’t fall in love at first sight. So don’t It’s one thing for your friend not to like your sig­nif­i­cant other’s friends, but what if she doesn’t like your sig­nif­i­cant other? Take a step back and try to look at your re­la­tion­ship with as much clar­ity as pos­si­ble. Is there merit to your friend’s scep­ti­cism – have you been blinded by love? Or is the is­sue with your friend, not your sweet­heart?

If it’s the lat­ter, tread lightly, but ask the friend to meet up and talk it out. Ex­plain how much both she and your part­ner mean to you, and see if there’s a way to meet in the mid­dle.

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