So your friend is now your boss…

… or you’re hers. Awkward! Here’s how to deal.

When Andrea, 29, scored a big new title at her marketing firm, she was initially worried about one employee: her friend and former peer Sara, 24. She was used to sharing details about her dating life with Sara. And Sara had reservations, too, now her confidante was her boss: “I wondered, ‘Can I still tell her if I had a few too many drinks over the weekend?’” But both agree that their relationship has prospered. Why? “We keep the lines of communication open and we’re honest with each other,” says Andrea.

These two make it sound easy, but managing (or reporting to) a friend can be far trickier. Since it often happens – research shows that one in three adults meets at least one close friend on the job – we have advice on keeping your bond intact.

Scenario One of you gets promoted.

If you’re the (new) boss

Celebrate, then lay down some rules of engagement, says clinical psychologist Dr Ben Michaelis. Set a date to discuss how you’ll support your friend without playing favourites. Maybe you’ll decide she can vent to you but not ask you to cover for her while she sneaks out for a manicure.

If you’re the staffer

Feeling knee-jerk jealousy? Dr Michaelis suggests reality-checking those emotions. “Often people realise the position wouldn’t have been right for them anyway,” he says. And use verbal boundaries to clarify your role, he advises. You could say, “As someone who reports to you, I think X but as your friend, I’d advise Y.” Then your boss-friend can decide which perspective she wants to hear. Scenario The conversation turns to company gossip.

If you’re the boss

Dr Michaelis suggests saying, “You know how much I value your friendship, but out of respect for our work relationship, I can’t talk about that.”

If you’re the staffer

Focus on points of connection beyond office gossip. “If you can’t, there probably wasn’t much to your friendship to begin with,” says Dr Michaelis.