How to be yourself in love and sex Take notes from these women

Coupling up – and all the compromising that comes with it – can make it hard to ‘just be you’. So take notes from these women!

“I decided I could do it on my own” “I mounted a TV on the wall myself. I don’t think I will ever need a man ever again!” – Amina, 31 ➻

sometimes it’s hard to be yourself, despite the inspirational memes out there telling us to try. Even harder? Being authentic when you’re searching for sexual and romantic fulfilment. After all, how to put a hold on the unadulterated you when you’re putting your best – and, OK, maybe not totally honest – face forward on a date? Or when you’re focused on putting your needs aside for the good of the whole? We asked a range of women to share the ways in which they keep it real in relationships to inspire you to find your own way.

I decided to be the change I wanted in my husband”

“I’ve been with my husband for eight years. A couple of years ago, I decided I wanted a more fulfilling, affectionate and rewarding relationship. But to achieve that, I had to change first. I started pouring out love, omitting condescending remarks. I focused on the good he did, not the things he didn’t do. Things didn’t change overnight, but eventually he began treating me the same way. Today we have a much more loving, connected relationship that we adore.” – Lauren, 28

I quit the dating game”

“I kept finding myself in situations where dudes played hot-and-cold games with me, so I finally decided to quit dating. It was just this sense that this was not what I wanted to participate in! And why continue to do something that was hurting me? I had spent so much of my life performing – trying to be fun and chill and engaging – that allowing myself to stop all of that felt like stepping outside and taking a big, deep breath after having been trapped in a stuffy room for hours. I don’t know how long this will last, but right now I like both myself and other people more this way, and I feel more optimistic about everything.” – Vanessa, 26