“I gave up casual sex”

Glamour (South Africa) - - Love/Keep It Real -

“I used to give guys the ben­e­fit of the doubt, and if they made a com­ment or ges­ture that was im­po­lite or de­mean­ing to me or women in gen­eral, I let it slide. Then I met up with a guy I’d pre­vi­ously hooked up and had sex with, and this time he tried to get his hands in my un­der­wear in a semi-pub­lic area. This isn’t some­thing I am in­her­ently against (hey, to each their own), but he did it force­fully with­out ask­ing if I was OK with it. I found it so dis­re­spect­ful that I re­ally re­gret­ted ever sleep­ing with him.

I de­cided that I didn’t want to feel that way again. Now I don’t even con­sider cer­tain kinds of guys – ones I meet at bars af­ter mid­night or cer­tain men on a dat­ing app. I’ve re­cal­i­brated my­self. This doesn’t mean some­one has to be a cap­i­tal B boyfriend be­fore I have sex with him, but I am go­ing to de­mand more from any guy I sleep with. If a guy doesn’t want to spend a lit­tle time get­ting to know me, if he doesn’t treat me and my body with re­spect, that’s a pretty good in­di­ca­tor that I’m not go­ing to in­tro­duce him to my vagina.” – Lily, 25

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