Re­la­tion­ships & well­ness

… af­ter only dat­ing men. As some­one in her 30s who has no ex­pe­ri­ence with this, how much dis­clo­sure is nec­es­sary to put in an on­line pro­file – should I say I’m in­ex­pe­ri­enced? I’m wor­ried about be­ing mis­lead­ing oth­er­wise.”

Glamour (South Africa) - - Contents - – Jackie, 31

“I’d like to try dat­ing women.” And, way to glow

“I strug­gled with this when I was com­ing out. I felt like a fraud un­til I re­alised I had just as much right to be in the LGBTQ space as some­one who’s been out longer. In­clude that you haven’t dated women be­fore only if you’re com­fort­able with it. Don’t put the per­ceived needs of the in­vis­i­ble per­son look­ing at your pro­file be­fore your own. Af­ter all, if you were look­ing to meet a man, you wouldn’t feel the need to dis­close how many guys you’ve dated. These things will come up or­gan­i­cally.” – Lau­ren Morelli, writer for Orange is the New Black

“There’s a ben­e­fit to say­ing, ‘I’m pretty new to dat­ing women’: you’re more likely to find some­one else who is, too. Also, from what I’ve ob­served, it’s very com­mon for women to re­alise that they would like to date other women later than their early 20s – so don’t worry. It’s not go­ing to be as shock­ing to peo­ple as you think.” – Riese Bernard, ed­i­torin-chief of a queer­com­mu­nity site

“Every­one is mis­lead­ing on dat­ing sites – they share only the good things about them­selves and none of the messier stuff. I imag­ine your real fear is that you’ll be judged for hav­ing no ex­pe­ri­ence. Whether they read that in your pro­file, or hear about it on your first or sec­ond date (which is a fine time to bring it up), what mat­ters is how you feel about it. Spend more time get­ting right with you rather than wor­ry­ing about when to tell some­one else.” – Lind­say Chrisler, dat­ing and re­la­tion­ship coach

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