You do you!

How of­ten do you wake up in the morn­ing feel­ing fab­u­lously you, and yet by night­fall you’re ex­hausted from forc­ing your­self to con­form all day? From fac­ing fears to em­brac­ing quirks, lov­ing your­self isn’t al­ways easy. We round up the best ad­vice on ac­cept

Glamour (South Africa) - - Contents - – Ellen De­generes

Self-es­teem inspo

“While I was do­ing stand-up, I thought I knew for sure that suc­cess meant get­ting every­one to like me. So I be­came who­ever I thought peo­ple wanted me to be. I’d say yes when I wanted to say no, and I even wore a few dresses. And it worked. I got my own sit­com. The show was very suc­cess­ful. I had ev­ery­thing I’d hoped for but I wasn’t be­ing my­self. So I de­cided to be hon­est about who I was. It was strange: the peo­ple who loved me for be­ing funny sud­denly didn’t like me for be­ing me. I had a re­ally tough time for a few years. My show was gone. My phone wasn’t ring­ing. There wasn’t one job of­fer. Even­tu­ally, I de­cided to go back to how I started my ca­reer, and I wrote an HBO spe­cial. Then I got my talk show. And look at me now! I know for sure I would never change any of the hard times I went through in my life. Be­cause it was in those times that I grew the most and gained the most per­spec­tive. It’s our chal­lenges and ob­sta­cles that give us lay­ers of depth and make us in­ter­est­ing. Are they fun when they hap­pen? No. But they are what make us unique.”

“Nor­mal is noth­ing more than a cy­cle on a wash­ing ma­chine.” – Whoopi Gold­berg “Make mis­takes. Make big mis­takes. Mis­takes are how we find our voice.” – Su­san Saran­don “A girl should be two things: who and what she wants.” – Coco Chanel “I al­ways en­cour­age women to let their in­di­vid­u­al­ity show by not cov­er­ing up what they per­ceive as flaws. When I see a woman with the nat­u­ral wrin­kles of time on her face, I do not see the wrin­kles at all, but when I see a woman try­ing to cover them up with too much foun­da­tion or con­cealer, all I see are her wrin­kles.” – Is­abella Ros­sellini “I’ve come to be­lieve that each of us has a per­sonal call­ing that’s as unique as a fin­ger­print – and that the best way to suc­ceed is to dis­cover what you love and then find a way to of­fer it to oth­ers in the form of ser­vice, work­ing hard and also al­low­ing the en­ergy of the uni­verse to lead you.” – Oprah Win­frey “I be­lieve that the priv­i­lege of a life­time is be­ing who you are, truly be­ing who you are. And I’ve spent far too long apol­o­gis­ing for that – my age, my colour, my lack of clas­si­cal beauty – that now at the age of, well, at the age of 51, I’m very proud to be Vi­ola Davis, for what­ever it’s worth.” – Vi­ola Davis

“Hope­fully, as you get older, you start to learn how to live with your de­mon. It’s hard at first. Some peo­ple give their de­mon so much room that there is no space in their head or bed for love. They feed their de­mon and it gets re­ally strong and then it makes them stay in abu­sive re­la­tion­ships or starve their beau­ti­ful bod­ies. But some­times you get a lit­tle older and get a lit­tle bored of the de­mon. Through good ther­apy and friends and self-love you can prac­tise treat­ing the de­mon like a hacky, an­noy­ing cousin. Maybe a day even comes when you are get­ting dressed for a fancy event and it whis­pers, ‘ You aren’t pretty,’ and you go, ‘I know, I know, now let me find my ear­rings.’ Some­times you say, ‘De­mon, I prom­ise you I will let you re­mind me of my ug­li­ness, but right now I am hav­ing hot sex so I will check in later.’” – Amy Poehler “Let’s just an­tic­i­pate that we will dis­ap­point our­selves some­how. Go ahead and let it hap­pen. Let some­body else be a bet­ter mother than you for one af­ter­noon. Let some­body else go to art school. Let some­body else have a happy mar­riage, while you fool­ishly pick the wrong guy. (Hell, I’ve done it; it’s sur­viv­able.) While you’re at it, take the wrong job. Move to the wrong city. Lose your tem­per in front of the boss, quit train­ing for that marathon, wolf down a truck­load of cup­cakes the day af­ter you start your diet. Blow it all cat­a­stroph­i­cally, in fact, and then start over with good cheer. This is what we all must learn to do, for this is how maps get charted – by tak­ing wrong turns that lead to sur­pris­ing pas­sage­ways that open into spec­tac­u­larly un­ex­pected new worlds. So just march on. Fu­ture gen­er­a­tions will thank you – trust me – for show­ing the way, for beat­ing brave new foot­paths out of wonky old mis­takes. Fall flat on your face if you must, but please, for the sake of us all, do not stop. Map your own life.” – El­iz­a­beth Gil­bert

“I have an aver­sion to be­ing mis­la­belled. Here’s a la­bel I’d ac­cept: I’m an ‘in­di­vid­ual’. I’m some­one who can’t fol­low and doesn’t want to lead.” – Joni Mitchell “I had to grow to love my body. I did not have a good self-im­age at first. Fi­nally it oc­curred to me, I’m ei­ther go­ing to love me or hate me. And I chose to love my­self. Then ev­ery­thing kind of sprung from there. Things that I thought weren’t at­trac­tive be­came sexy. Con­fi­dence makes you sexy.” – Queen Lat­i­fah “Be your­self. Very few peo­ple do this any more. It’s too risky. First of all, it’s a hell of a re­spon­si­bil­ity to be your­self. It’s much eas­ier to be some­body else or no­body at all.” – Sylvia Plath “The more room you give your­self to ex­press your true thoughts and feel­ings, the more room there is for your wis­dom to emerge.” – Mar­i­anne Wil­liamson “In­stead of try­ing to fit an im­pos­si­ble ideal, I took a per­sonal in­ven­tory of all my healthy body parts for which I am grate­ful: Straight Greek eye­brows. They start at the hair­line at my tem­ple and, left unchecked, will grow straight across my face and onto yours.” – Tina Fey “Cher­ish for­ever what makes you unique, ’cause you’re re­ally a yawn if it goes.” – Bette Mi­dler “I’m not mar­ried, I fre­quently use my debit card to buy things that cost less than three dol­lars (R38), and my bed­room is so un­tidy it looks like van­dals ran­sacked a clothes store’s sale sec­tion. I’m kind of a mess.” – Mindy Kal­ing “No­body is per­fect. I just don’t be­lieve in per­fec­tion. But I do be­lieve in say­ing, ‘This is who I am and look at me not be­ing per­fect!’ I’m proud of that.” - Kate Winslet

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