You do you!
How often do you wake up in the morning feeling fabulously you, and yet by nightfall you’re exhausted from forcing yourself to conform all day? From facing fears to embracing quirks, loving yourself isn’t always easy. We round up the best advice on accept
Self-esteem inspo
“While I was doing stand-up, I thought I knew for sure that success meant getting everyone to like me. So I became whoever I thought people wanted me to be. I’d say yes when I wanted to say no, and I even wore a few dresses. And it worked. I got my own sitcom. The show was very successful. I had everything I’d hoped for but I wasn’t being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. It was strange: the people who loved me for being funny suddenly didn’t like me for being me. I had a really tough time for a few years. My show was gone. My phone wasn’t ringing. There wasn’t one job offer. Eventually, I decided to go back to how I started my career, and I wrote an HBO special. Then I got my talk show. And look at me now! I know for sure I would never change any of the hard times I went through in my life. Because it was in those times that I grew the most and gained the most perspective. It’s our challenges and obstacles that give us layers of depth and make us interesting. Are they fun when they happen? No. But they are what make us unique.”
“Normal is nothing more than a cycle on a washing machine.” – Whoopi Goldberg “Make mistakes. Make big mistakes. Mistakes are how we find our voice.” – Susan Sarandon “A girl should be two things: who and what she wants.” – Coco Chanel “I always encourage women to let their individuality show by not covering up what they perceive as flaws. When I see a woman with the natural wrinkles of time on her face, I do not see the wrinkles at all, but when I see a woman trying to cover them up with too much foundation or concealer, all I see are her wrinkles.” – Isabella Rossellini “I’ve come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that’s as unique as a fingerprint – and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you.” – Oprah Winfrey “I believe that the privilege of a lifetime is being who you are, truly being who you are. And I’ve spent far too long apologising for that – my age, my colour, my lack of classical beauty – that now at the age of, well, at the age of 51, I’m very proud to be Viola Davis, for whatever it’s worth.” – Viola Davis
“Hopefully, as you get older, you start to learn how to live with your demon. It’s hard at first. Some people give their demon so much room that there is no space in their head or bed for love. They feed their demon and it gets really strong and then it makes them stay in abusive relationships or starve their beautiful bodies. But sometimes you get a little older and get a little bored of the demon. Through good therapy and friends and self-love you can practise treating the demon like a hacky, annoying cousin. Maybe a day even comes when you are getting dressed for a fancy event and it whispers, ‘ You aren’t pretty,’ and you go, ‘I know, I know, now let me find my earrings.’ Sometimes you say, ‘Demon, I promise you I will let you remind me of my ugliness, but right now I am having hot sex so I will check in later.’” – Amy Poehler “Let’s just anticipate that we will disappoint ourselves somehow. Go ahead and let it happen. Let somebody else be a better mother than you for one afternoon. Let somebody else go to art school. Let somebody else have a happy marriage, while you foolishly pick the wrong guy. (Hell, I’ve done it; it’s survivable.) While you’re at it, take the wrong job. Move to the wrong city. Lose your temper in front of the boss, quit training for that marathon, wolf down a truckload of cupcakes the day after you start your diet. Blow it all catastrophically, in fact, and then start over with good cheer. This is what we all must learn to do, for this is how maps get charted – by taking wrong turns that lead to surprising passageways that open into spectacularly unexpected new worlds. So just march on. Future generations will thank you – trust me – for showing the way, for beating brave new footpaths out of wonky old mistakes. Fall flat on your face if you must, but please, for the sake of us all, do not stop. Map your own life.” – Elizabeth Gilbert
“I have an aversion to being mislabelled. Here’s a label I’d accept: I’m an ‘individual’. I’m someone who can’t follow and doesn’t want to lead.” – Joni Mitchell “I had to grow to love my body. I did not have a good self-image at first. Finally it occurred to me, I’m either going to love me or hate me. And I chose to love myself. Then everything kind of sprung from there. Things that I thought weren’t attractive became sexy. Confidence makes you sexy.” – Queen Latifah “Be yourself. Very few people do this any more. It’s too risky. First of all, it’s a hell of a responsibility to be yourself. It’s much easier to be somebody else or nobody at all.” – Sylvia Plath “The more room you give yourself to express your true thoughts and feelings, the more room there is for your wisdom to emerge.” – Marianne Williamson “Instead of trying to fit an impossible ideal, I took a personal inventory of all my healthy body parts for which I am grateful: Straight Greek eyebrows. They start at the hairline at my temple and, left unchecked, will grow straight across my face and onto yours.” – Tina Fey “Cherish forever what makes you unique, ’cause you’re really a yawn if it goes.” – Bette Midler “I’m not married, I frequently use my debit card to buy things that cost less than three dollars (R38), and my bedroom is so untidy it looks like vandals ransacked a clothes store’s sale section. I’m kind of a mess.” – Mindy Kaling “Nobody is perfect. I just don’t believe in perfection. But I do believe in saying, ‘This is who I am and look at me not being perfect!’ I’m proud of that.” - Kate Winslet