not Be ORGASM-SHAMED

You have the right to…

“There we were, in the midst of what I thought was great sex, when suddenly my partner said, ‘You ain’t gonna cum anyway,’ pulled out and walked out of the room. At first I wasn’t offended. He must have been joking, I thought! Nope. To him I was a waste of sex time because I didn’t easily arrive at the O-zone. Goodbye, sir.

“But then it happened again. A few years later a different partner told me midthrust, ‘Why aren’t you letting it happen? You’re making this tough for me.’ In so many words, these two told me my vagina was broken. Guys don’t get it. I always say they have the tipper truck of reproductive organs. It goes up. It goes down. Voilà. For women the engineering is infinitely more complex. So why do some men shame women for something that’s notoriously hard to reach? I’ll tell you why: our climaxes are attached to that fragile construct of hypermasculinity.

“As women become more independent, reclaiming their sexuality, some men feel compelled to assert their dying roles as providers in a heterosexual relationship by taking ownership of our pleasure. So when we don’t orgasm, they see it as emasculation. No wonder so many women have learnt to fake it to preserve their partner’s manhood. Well, I didn’t get the memo, so I never faked and I’m here to tell you, your vagina is not broken!

“I eventually found my orgasm thanks to an ex who dedicated himself to locating it. For some it may take sexual maturity, a certain position you have yet to discover, a patient partner or some self-exploration. Not everyone will be able to climax via the penis, or want to, either. And that’s cool. But let’s all agree: there’s no room in your vagina for a penis and an ego.” – Amanda Seales, actress