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Glamour (South Africa) - - Sex -

“There we were, in the midst of what I thought was great sex, when sud­denly my part­ner said, ‘You ain’t gonna cum any­way,’ pulled out and walked out of the room. At first I wasn’t of­fended. He must have been jok­ing, I thought! Nope. To him I was a waste of sex time be­cause I didn’t eas­ily ar­rive at the O-zone. Good­bye, sir.

“But then it hap­pened again. A few years later a dif­fer­ent part­ner told me midthrust, ‘Why aren’t you let­ting it hap­pen? You’re mak­ing this tough for me.’ In so many words, these two told me my vagina was bro­ken. Guys don’t get it. I al­ways say they have the tip­per truck of re­pro­duc­tive or­gans. It goes up. It goes down. Voilà. For women the en­gi­neer­ing is in­fin­itely more com­plex. So why do some men shame women for some­thing that’s no­to­ri­ously hard to reach? I’ll tell you why: our cli­maxes are at­tached to that frag­ile con­struct of hy­per­mas­culin­ity.

“As women be­come more in­de­pen­dent, re­claim­ing their sex­u­al­ity, some men feel com­pelled to as­sert their dy­ing roles as providers in a het­ero­sex­ual re­la­tion­ship by tak­ing own­er­ship of our plea­sure. So when we don’t or­gasm, they see it as emas­cu­la­tion. No won­der so many women have learnt to fake it to pre­serve their part­ner’s man­hood. Well, I didn’t get the memo, so I never faked and I’m here to tell you, your vagina is not bro­ken!

“I even­tu­ally found my or­gasm thanks to an ex who ded­i­cated him­self to lo­cat­ing it. For some it may take sex­ual ma­tu­rity, a cer­tain po­si­tion you have yet to dis­cover, a pa­tient part­ner or some self-ex­plo­ration. Not every­one will be able to cli­max via the pe­nis, or want to, ei­ther. And that’s cool. But let’s all agree: there’s no room in your vagina for a pe­nis and an ego.” – Amanda Seales, ac­tress

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