Feel Sexy At Any Size

You have the right to…

“Here’s some feedback I got on a script I coauthored: ‘I don’t believe someone like you could sleep with a guy like that.’ The producer didn’t think an audience would believe that a plus-size woman could date a hot celebrity. I smiled, bit my tongue and cut the scene. But I wondered, ‘Why couldn’t a plus-size woman get a hot guy?’

“I’ve been meditating on that question since I was 16. While at a party, I was shocked to realise I’d caught the eye of a guy, and I relished in his flirtation until a woman pulled me aside to caution me that he was a ‘chubby chaser’. Out of that night came a lifelong anxiety: all men who hit on me might have a fat-girl fetish.

“I didn’t question that narrative until I was at university. There I met men from cultures with more inclusive beauty ideals. Men in pubs were asking for my number. I was feeling sexy for the first time. I went home and explored this side of myself.

“I wasn’t cured overnight. I dated a classically good-looking guy years later, and insecurity reared its ugly head. I’d roll my eyes every time he called me sexy. Looking back, it wasn’t my body that was holding me back; it was my mind. For too long I’ve allowed my insecurities to bring out the worst in me. I gave away the power to determine my sexual worth, but I’m taking it back. I may wear double-digit dresses, but it’s 2017, and I have a right to feel sexy. I’ve realised: I could get the ‘hot’ guy; I’m intelligent and sexy as hell. I believe it and so should you.”