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Glamour (South Africa) - - Sex -

“‘This guy won’t stop both­er­ing me. I’ll have to block him,’ my friend says to me. ‘Why aren’t you on Tin­der?’

“I’ve ex­pe­ri­enced that sce­nario a lot. A friend will open the dat­ing app, scroll through a litany of peo­ple she’s passed over and then ask me why I’m not tak­ing part. It feels like I’m con­stantly be­ing forced to ini­ti­ate into the world’s worst cult.

“All these apps send the mes­sage that peo­ple should be try­ing to have sex at all times. On­line dat­ing was once the home of loser-soaked des­per­a­tion, but now there’s a stigma about re­sist­ing the urge to swipe right. There have been times when I’ve cho­sen not to have sex, pe­riod. I found it eas­ier to fig­ure out what made me feel good when I wasn’t wor­ry­ing about a part­ner.

“Now, I’m not rec­om­mend­ing that you clois­ter your­self in a con­vent and have your vagina her­met­i­cally sealed. But I want more women to know that be­ing alone doesn’t mean you’re lonely. I’m not lonely. I have my friends and fam­ily. Oh, and a phone free of jocks from Bum­ble. I win.” – Danielle Hen­der­son, writer

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