GLAM­OUR list

Glamour (South Africa) - - Contents -

10 An­noy­ing peo­ple we en­counter daily

1 The small talker in the work kitchen

Yes, I had a nice week­end. Yes, it’s a bit chilly out. Yes, I wish this ket­tle would boil faster.

2 The way-too-cool-for-bor­ing-you barista

The tat­toos, the pierc­ings, the beard… and the look of ut­ter dis­dain as you wait and wait. And some­how the abil­ity to guilt you into tip­ping.

3 The creepy starer

They’re still star­ing at me, aren’t they? How about now? Knew it. And now? Oh no, it’s still go­ing on! Tell my mom I love her.

4 The lunch-maker with too many ques­tions

Brown. Plain. Not toasted. Yes, but­ter. No mayo. Yes, salad. To take away. Stop, quiz­mas­ter gen­eral, you’re stress­ing me out!

5 The cat­caller

As if yelling, “Oi oi, show us your clunge!” would ac­tu­ally inspire us to have ram­pant sex with you.

6 The mamil (mid­dleaged man in Ly­cra)

Al­ways lurk­ing in winc­ingly tight bright shorts.

7 The slow walker

Get a shift on, I’ve seen faster asth­matic snails.

8 The gym nud­ist

The hu­man body is an amaz­ing thing. But there’s still no need to strut about naked while you mois­turise your butt in my eye­line.

9 The key­pad tones leaver-on­ner

Beep, beep… slight pause so you think they’ve stopped… beep, beep, beep. Re­peat un­til you feel in­sane and mur­der­ous.

10 The blank­ing bar­tender

Hello. Hello? I need emer­gency wine. I ap­pear to have be­come in­vis­i­ble!

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