Dos and Don’ts of very close encounters

All-girl pad? DO obey the sistas before mistas rule and don’t sleep with the same men. You’d be surprised how easily this can happen when you go out together and meet the same guys, and how one guy can single-handedly wreck your friendship group.

Shout-out to the girl who played ‘Sex on Fire’ every time she did the deed, crescendoing her orgasms during final chorus. No. Just no. Not when your roomies are at home. Actually, just DON’T. DO always give one another the lowdown on who you’re chatting to on dating apps. There are few things in life more awkward than a guy laying into a ‘dull as dishwasher’ date before you realise he’s talking about your flatmate.

“Who did you have sex with this weekend? I saw the used condoms in the bin,” said my 2008 flatmate version of Charlotte York. When discarding condoms, DO try to strategically bury them under other trash. Or take the bin duty.