Relationships 5 dating green flags

We talk about the ‘red flags’ of dating, but do we spend so much time looking for them that we overlook the positives? These women reveal the moment they realised they’d found a keeper.

1He talks about feminism “My boyfriend listens to my favourite women’s radio show on the way to work, so we can discuss issues that affect women. Recently, we talked about how he never realised sexism was still rife in the workplace – he was so passionate about it.” – Kwame, 33 He’s a keeper because… “He’s paying attention to what is important to you, and taking time to learn more,” says dating and relationship coach Ané Auret. “It means you’re important to him.”

2We find fun in the small things “My boyfriend and I manage to have fun even when doing boring tasks. Washing the dishes, laundry – if we do it together, it’s enjoyable. We always have something to talk about: memories, TV shows, holiday plans, and we know how to make each other laugh.” – Laila, 29 He’s a keeper because… “Being able to make even the tedious chores fun is asign of a healthy relationship,” says matchmaker Caroline Brealey. “You need to prove you can share and enjoy life – including the routine and humdrum tasks.”

3He made a sweet gesture “It was my birthday a month into our relationship, and he made a card. Despite being lousy at drawing, he ‘drew’ what I can only describe as a puppy holding a cake. My first homemade card in years! I loved it.” – Martha, 26 He’s a keeper because… “Expressing love verbally doesn’t come naturally to everyone,” says Caroline. “We care so much about big, romantic declarations, it’s easy to overlook thoughtful gestures. But they’re key signs of how important our happiness is to our partner.”

4She looked after me “Our third date was at a rooftop bar. It was chilly, so she went to the bar and came back with two blankets. The moment she put one on my lap I knew she was special.” – Madison, 32 She’s a keeper because… “We hear so much about the ‘dangers of being too keen’ that we often avoid showing our nurturing side,” says Gillian Mccallum, CEO of a dating agency. “But if we want a mutually nurturing relationship, we can’t be afraid to show that early on.”

5She put me in my place “I was so nervous during our first dinner date. I’d been blabbering for about 15 minutes when she stopped me. ‘I like listening to you,’ she said, ‘but now I’d like you to ask me an interesting question.’ I realised all I’d done was talk about myself. I wasn’t offended, I was impressed by her candour and honesty.” – Selma, 29 She’s a keeper because… “Most of us are looking for a partner who’ll bring out the best in us, not one who doesn’t speak up when they are unhappy,” says Gillian. “She showed that she wants an equal partnership and prioritises respect and honesty.”