GLAMOUR list 11 Things we wish we could say out loud

1 “Yes, he’s really sexy and yes, he likes girls, but in his Tinder bio, he actually spells ‘definitely’ as ‘defiantly’. As your friend, I cannot let you date him.”

2 “It’s the end of the month, I’m flat broke, and all I had was this Coke Light. No, we cannot ‘split the bill’, Ms Fillet Steak, Cherry Cake and Three Glasses of Bubbly.”

3 “How am I? My period is heavy, my ovaries feel like dumbbells, and I might burst into song and tears simultaneously. And you?”

4 “You know what? I’m awesome. People should know how awesome I am. This ‘modesty’ stuff is so 2005.”

5 “Dear Boss, I would like to take a day off for self-care; to sit in my PJS and binge on pizza, chocolate-covered cheesecake and Stranger Things – season two. Many thanks.”

6 “No, no, and no! I did not ‘get mine’ as you so sweetly put it. So no, no, and no again, you may not fall asleep. Finish what you started, pal.”

7 “I just totally love Justin Bieber and it’s time the world knew.”

8 “I’m not elderly, or pregnant, but really, fighting the patriarchy is exhausting, so if you could give me your seat, then yeah, that would be great.”

9 “If you use the words ‘too fat’ or ‘too skinny’, we

cannot be friends, so please don’t talk to me. Actually, please don’t talk to anyone, ever.”

10 “Look, dear Momin-law, your son is the only man who can put up with me, so you’re going to have to learn to love me. Got it?”

11 “That’s not a compliment, and you are creepy.” (OK, that one sometimes slips out.)