A letter to my son

Dear Khalid,

You came into my life as a huge surprise. We didn’t plan you, but through love you came into this world.

On the 15th of May 2018, while the waves crashed just outside our hotel room window and a fire was blazing, you announced yourself with a subtle push. Slowly, you asserted yourself more firmly, letting us know you were ready to arrive – albeit earlier than expected. Admittedly, I was in denial when you arrived; “It’s not time yet!” I told your dad. But you’ve taught me that time is merely what we make of it. The time is always now with you, and that’s what I love best.

Khalid, your arrival was not easy. I yelled and sweated as I pushed to welcome you into this world. Although the moment was not too long, we went through so much together to get you here. I wanted to give up at so many points, but my love for you kept me going. Yet another thing you taught me, Khalid, is to persevere through all the challenges I may face. Once I pulled you onto my chest, I was in awe of not only how tiny and beautiful you were, but how strong and fierce I was in that moment. We worked as a team to get to this point and all we had in our favour was love.

The coming weeks were not easy, too. You were tinier than we had expected, and you struggled with feeding and adjusting to this big new world. But with this, I learnt something crucial: patience. When I look at you, my frustration to rush through any of our feeding challenges would simply melt away. Those first few weeks I was so hard on myself, wondering if I was worthy of being loved by a miracle like you, but you made me learn that love is unconditional when it is true.

Khalid, I promise to be open to all the lessons you’re about to teach me, to be the best version of myself for you and to lead you through your life as you lead me through mine.

I write this letter to you my angel, to say thank you for loving me and choosing me to love you. I promise, for the rest of your life, to give you all the love I can muster.

I love you,

mom