Light my fire “E

very man kisses his wife his own way.” That was my builder’s stock response every time I wanted something done differently to what he had originally envisioned. Tiles or wood. Plaster or exposed brick. Stacked doors or sliding doors. Lawn or indigenous plants. Plascon’s Butterscotch Mousse or the slightly cooler Baked Coconut. I sometimes felt like replying: “No, every man kisses his wife the way she wants to be kissed!” But now the house is finished and thankfully he and I – and my wife and I – are still on speaking terms. I think the point is that we all do things differently. This is especially true for that most South African of pastimes: the braai. Never ever comment on another person’s braai. If he or she needs your advice, they’ll ask for it. Talk about religion, politics or even the Boks if you’re brave enough, but don’t say a word about their choice of wood, their meat or their marinade. There are the attention-deficit scorchers who forget to turn the meat, and the obsessivecompulsive turners who intervene every few seconds. One person might use Blitz to get the fire started, another person will use newsprint and wood shavings. Some swear by hardwood, others believe in rooikrans and there are even a few heretics who use charcoal. It doesn’t matter. A braai is meant to unite us, not divide us. We braai when we’re happy and we braai when we’re unhappy because it makes us happy. Take a look at all the cool braai gadgets on page 84 and tell me you’re not itching to light a fire tonight. Who said you need to wait until the weekend? Every man can braai his chop his own way, when and how he wants to. Go on, light that fire.