EZOTHANDO:
KUNZIMA ukuphuma ebudlelwaneni bothando. Lobu bunzima benza ukutba abanye abantu bahlale ngisho sebezwa ukuthi uthando selubaphelele kodwa ngenxa yokuthi umuntu usuke engenaso isibindi sokusho ukuthi akasathandi ukuba kulobo budlelwane, aqhubeke aziphoqe, ahlale.
Ngesinye isikhathi omunye uchitha isikhathi eside ecabanga ukuthi angaphuma kanjani kulobo budlelwano asuke ekubo. Ongoti-ke bathi kunezinto okufanele abantu baziqaphele uma sebefuna ukuphuma ebudlelwaneni.
Kunalezo zinto okuthiwa akufanele nhlobo uzenze ngoba zingaholela ekubeni kube nzima kakhulu ukwehlukana nomuntu, futhi zenze isimo sibe muncu kakhulu phakathi kwenu lapho nihlukana noma senehlukene.
Kukhona abantu abahlukanayo kodwa baqhubeke bazwane, kube khona abantu abahlukana bangabhekani, abanye baze balimazane, noma kugcine kukhona ofayo.
Nawa amaphutha ongoti abathi enziwa ngabantu angaholela ekubeni kube nzima ukwehlukana.
1. UNGALINDI ISIKHATHI ESIDE KAKHULU
Njengoba sishilo ngenhla, kuthiwa imvamisa abantu bachitha isikhathi eside belokhu becabanga ngokuthi bazophuma kanjani ebudlelwaneni.
Udkt Katherine Schafler, oyi- psychotherapist, embikweni wephephabhuku iglamour uthi abantu bathi bephuma ebudlelwaneni kusuke sekunesikhathi eside bezazi ukuthi sebefuna ukushiya phansi kulobo budlelwane.
Uthi nakuba kulungile ukuba ulinde uze ube nesiqiniseko esiphelele sokuthi usufuna ukuphuma kulobo budlelwano, kodwa usuke usuwazi ukuthi usufuna ukubuqeda lobo budlelwane.
Udkt Schafler uma nje ususithathile isinqumo sokuphuma, ungabe usapholisa maseko, ligqabule ifindo. Uthi kufanele abantu bakwamukele ukuthi kunobuhlungu obungeke bugwemeke njengokwehlukana kwabantu abathandanayo, kodwa futhi kukhona ubuhlungu obungagwemeka njengokuhlala othandweni ungasathandi.
2. UNGAPHUMI EBUDLELWANENI NGESIKHATHI NIXABENE
Kuthiwa kufanele ukugweme ukuthatha isinqumo sokuphuma ebudlelwaneni ngesikhathi imimoya isephezulu.
Imvamisa izinto ezisuke zibangwa ziyakhulunywa zixazululeke. Kuthiwa futhi ngesinye isikhathi into enisuke niyibanga nophathina wakho isuke ingeyimbi njengoba nisuke nicabanga ngesikhathi nixabana.
Ngemuva kwengxabano kuthiwa kuyenzeka ubone ukuthi empeleni usamthanda umuntu wakho, futhi usafuna ukubambisana naye othandweni. Uyawucabanga-ke umonakalo ongawenza ngokuthi ucasuke bese uqoqa imithwalo yakho uhambe kanti isimo kasisibi njengoba ubuzitshela?
3. KHULUMA IQINISO
Baningi abantu okuthi uma sebengasathokozile ebudlelwaneni noma sebethole abangcono bese beqhamuka bebika izaba, bengafuni ukukhuluma iqiniso.
Ongoti-ke bathi iyingozi le nto yokuthi uma usufuna ukuhlukana nomuntu bese uqamba amanga ngesizathu esikwenza ufune ukuphuma kulobo budlelwane.
Bathi kungenzeka ukuba uqambe amanga, uzame ukubeka izinto kahle ngoba uzitshela ukuthi ukuhlenga lowo osuke uhlukana naye ekubeni angaphuki inhliziyo, kodwa kusuke kusengenzeka ukuthi umhlukumeza kakhulu ngoba ama-nga akho engamshiya edidekile.
Kubikwa ukuthi empeleni kungcono ukubhekana nobuhlungu kwedlule uma nje ulazi iqiniso, nakuba kungaba nzima ukulemukela.
Ukukhuluma iqiniso futhi kuthiwa kunika nomunye ithuba lokuba aphawule ngenkinga eyenza omunye afune ukuphuma ebudlelwaneni, kanti mhlawumbe ningagcina niyilungisile inkinga niqhubeke nothando lwenu. Kuvamisile ukuzwa umuntu ethi usafuna ukuma kancane ( want to take a break). Kuthiwa-ke ungathi usafuna ukuhlaba ikhefu ebudlelwaneni uma ungazi ukuthi lelo khefu liyoke liphele yini.
Lokhu abanye baye bekubuke njengobuqili bokuthi umuntu ufuna ukuyozithokozisa nabanye abantu, kuthi lapho esexakekile, izinto zingahambi kahle lapho ebethi uyozama khona bese ebuyela emuva.
Kuthiwa okugcono uma ubona ukuthi ngeke ukumele ukwehlukana nomuntu othandana naye, hlala, hhayi indaba yokuthi usafuna ukuba nime kancane.
5. NINGAHLIPHIZI IZINTO
Njengoba sike sasho ngenhla, abanye abantu bathi uma behlukana, belwe kube muncu, abanye baze balimazane. Udkt Schafler uthi akukuhle lokhu.
Ukuhlukana ngendlela ekhombisa ukukhula kwenza kube nethuba lokuba nibe ngabangani esikhathini esizayo, futhi niqhubeke nizwane nabantu ebenizwana nabo ngesikhathi niseyizithandani.
Nokho kuthiwa kufanele niqaphele ukuthi ningabi ngabangani ngokushesha ngesikhathi nisanda kwehlukana, ngoba lokho kungenza ingapholi iminjunju yokugqabuka kwegoqa.
Zinikeni isikhathi kuphole isilonda enhliziyweni, uma senedlulile kuleso sigaba sobuhlungu, seningaqhubeka nibe ngabangani. Yebo ezinye izinto kufanele niziyeke nje ngesikhathi nehlukana.
Kugwemeni ukulokhu nipopolana ezinkundleni zokuxhumana, nibheka ukuthi ubani wenzani, kuphi nobani. Uma ulokhu upopola umuntu osuhlukene naye ungazidalela inkinga yokuba kube nzima ukuqhubeka nempilo. Kuyenzeka ukuthi abantu bahlukane baphinde babuyelane. Nokho kuthiwa akuwona umqondo omuhle ukuba nithi niqeda ukwehlukana, bese nibuyelana ngokushesha. Indaba yokubuyelana le kubikwa ukuthi iyinkinga isikhathi esiningi.
Ongoti bathi abantu uma sebebuyelana imvamisa ababi nakho ukujabula ebudlelwaneni. Futhi bathi kufanele nazi ukuthi izinselelo enibe nazo ekuqaleni, ezenze nagcina nahlukana nisengabhekana futhi