Ukuthandana akuniki ilungelo lokuphoqa ucansi
BANINGI abantu abazithola bebhekene namacala abucayi okudlwengula abantu abathandana nabo. Kuyaye kubonakale sengathi abanye abantu bazitshela ukuthi uma nithandana noma nishadile kusho ukuthi nizoya ocansini noma yinini, kungakhathalekile ukuthi omunye uzizwa kanjani.
Uma ulalele abantu bekhuluma ngalawa macala lapho uthola ukuthi kubophana abantu ekade bethandana ngecala lokudlwengula uye uzwe nje ukuthi abayiqondi indaba yokuthi kungashiwo kanjani ukuthi udlwengule umuntu ekubeni nithandana.
Nokho ngokomthetho niya ocansini uma nobabili ninesifiso salokho noma ninesivumelwano. Uma oyedwa wenu ekhombisa ukungabi naso isifiso salokho noma esho ukuthi akekho esimeni noma akathandi, makangaphoqwa.
Lokho kuchaza ngokusobala ukuthi ukuthandana kwabantu akusho ukuthi omunye uphoqelekile ukuya ocansini. Uma engakulungele lokho noma engekho esimeni futhi ekutshela mhloniphe, ulalele.
Uma usuphoqelela usuke usuzidonsela amanzi ngomsele - njengoba ngokomthetho waseningizimu Afrika lokho kusuke sekuwukudlwengula. Icala lokudlwengula ngelinye lamacala abucayi kakhulu futhi elingakubhadlisa ejele iminyaka kume impilo yakho.
UNGALAHLEKELWA WUMQONDO NGENXA YENKANUKO
Siyazi ukuthi abanye abantu besilisa uma sebeshiselwa yigazi, befuna intokozo yasekamelweni ngesinye isikhathi kuba sengathi ingqondo iyahamba, umuntu angakwazi ukucabanga ngendlela ephusile.
Kuyothi-ke lapho umuntu esezanelisile, esefinyelele kuvuthondaba, uqale umqondo ubuye kodwa-ke kusuke sekusemuva kwendaba.
Akufuneki-ke ukuba inkanuko ikwenze ulahlekelwe wumqondo - kumele ngaso sonke isikhathi umqondo usebenze.
Yazi nje ukuthi uma umuntu wakho eke wathi cha, awulokothi uphoqelele.
Kungakusiza futhi nokuba ungazami ukumyenga ngoba ngenxa yobuthaka bakhe angagcine ethambise umzimba wena bese uzitshela ukuthi useyavuma kodwa kuthi emuva kwesikhathi ubuye umqondo nakuye, kusuke indaba enkulu. ZISIZE NGOKWAKHO
Uma ungumuntu wesilisa, usuxakeke kakhulu ungakwazi ukuzisiza ngokudlalisa isitho sakho sangasese uze ufinyelele kuvothondaba.
Le ndlela yokuzisiza uma isimo siphoqa yinhle ngoba ayikhulumisi futhi ayikaze ibophise umuntu.
Abanye bayayigxeka, bayibuka njengento eyihlazo kodwa iqiniso wukuthi ayikhona ukungcola futhi iphephile.
Abanye baye baphike bame ngentaba ukuthi bayayenza kodwa iqiniso wukuthi baningi abantu besilisa emhlabeni jikelele abayisebenzisayo le ndlela lapho izimo ziphoqa. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ochwepheshe bayayincoma bathi inempilo futhi iphephile.
Udkt Marlene Wasserman odume ngodr Eve, oyiclinical Sexologist, ekhuluma emsakazweni icape Talk phambilini ukuqinisekisile ukuthi kuphephile ukuzibhucabhuca isitho sangasese.
Khumbula ukuthi noma ngabe wenze ucansi okuyilona noma uzibhucabhuca wena isitho sangasese, inhloso enkulu kusuke kuwukufinyelela kuvuthondaba - nangaso-ke isandla sakho uyakwazi ukuzifinyelelisa kuvuthondaba.
bhekin@ilanganews.co.za