Ingozi yokubukela ukwenziwa kocansi
IGAMA elithi pornography lisho ushicilelo lwemifanekiso enganyakazi noma enyakazayo eveza izitho zangasese noma ukwenziwa kocansi ngenhloso yokuvusa inkanuko kobukelayo.
INGOZI EMPILWENI
Abanye abantu bangase bakokhe ngensini uma uthi ukubukela imifanekiso yokwenza ucansi kungakudalela isejwayezi ( addiction) esingagcina siwunoxhaka ongakwazi ukuphunyula kuwona futhi obangela izinkinga zempilo ngezindlela eziningi.
Yebo, akekho oseke wangenwa wumdlavuza ngenxa yokubukela imifanekiso yabantu abanqunu. Pho kanti ikuphi ingozi? Emuva kocwaningo lwesayensi oluningi oselwenziwe, sekucacile ukuthi i- pornography inemiphumela emibi ebuchosheni nasebudlelwaneni.
Lapha kakugcini nje ngobudlelwano bezithandani phakathi kowesifazane nowesilisa kodwa kushiwo lonke uhlobo lobudlelwano: abangani, ofunda nabo, osebenza nabo, abomndeni njalo njalo.
Lokhu kungenxa yokuba uma isejwayezi sesikubambile, uye uziphathe ngendlela ezothikameza yonke inhlobo yobudlelwano njengoba sekushiwo, kuze kuchaphazeleke nezinye izinhlangothi zempilo yakho.
Namuhla sibheka izindlela i- pornography elimaza ngazo ubudlelwano bakho kwezocansi nokusimama komshado wakho:
1. Ukubukela i- kusho ukuthi isithandwa sakho kasibe sisakwazi ukukwenza ulangazele
Nxa ubukele imifanekiso yokwenza ucansi, kunezingxenye ebuchosheni ezivusa inkanuko. Uma kuze kwafika eqophelweni lokuba uchithe, ingqondo yakho isiyohlala njalo iyamanisa imifanekiso oyibukayo nentokozo eku- fikela uma uqeda esikhundleni sokuba kube ngumuntu ophilayo.
Kanti-ke uma uzilonda uze ungene emshadweni, ubudlelwano bothando nalowo oshade naye buyaqina kakhulu.
2. Imifanekiso ilimaza imizwa yokulangazela (
Kugcina sekuba yimvelo yakho ukuthi uma uke wabukela le mifanekiso, kawube usaba namizwa yokulangazela lowo othandana naye okwangempela.
Abeluleki kwezocansi baseUnited States of America (USA), bathola imibiko eminingi lapho omakoti abasuke bengene emishadweni namasoka abo bengakaze benze ucansi, bethi basuke bethembile ukuthi amadoda abo azolangazela kodwa lutho.
Bathi labo makoti emuva kweholidi labo lomshado ( honeymoon), mhlawumbe kuba kabili kuphela ngenyanga lapho abayeni benza nabo ucansi, nalapho bavuma ngemuva kwesikhathi eside bencengwa.
Ongoti bathi ngenxa yokubukelwa kakhulu kwe- pornography, lona wumphumela vele olindelekile. 3. I- yenza ukuvilaphele ukwenza ucansi
Obukela i- pornography uhlala ebona abantu abalangazelelanayo njalo, kakukho mizamo ayenzayo yokuthi ashukumise imizwa yesithandwa sakhe (foreplay), konke kuye kubukeka kufanele ngabe kuyinto ezenzekelayo, okwenza ukuba azipholele nje ngesikhathi sokujabulisana.
Lokho kwenza athandana naye acabange ukuthi kukhona okungalungile ngaye kanti lutho, kakunjalo. Empeleni lo mkhuba ukufundisa ukuthi ukwenza uca- nsi kwenzelwa ukwanelisa wena siqu, kungakhathalekile ukuthi isithandwa sakho sidingani ngokwenyama.
4. I- kayikukhathaleli ukuzwana ngokomoya (
Idala umqondo othi ukwenza ucansi yinto yokuthokozisa umzimba - intokomalo nokusingathana sekuyinto eseceleni. Lokhu kuholela ekuthini usibukele phansi isithunzi sesithandwa sakho ngoba nakhu into oyifunayo kusona kuwukugculisa inkanuko yokomzimba.
5. Umkhuba wokubuka i-
udala kube nesicefe ukwenza ucansi
Njengoba kwenzeka kophuza uphuzo oludakayo, uye athokoziswe yisilinganiso sophuzo esincane, kuthi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi umzimba wakhe ugcine usujwayele bese edinga isilinganiso esithe xaxa.
Kuba kanjalo-ke nasemkhubeni wokubukela i- pornography. Ukuze uthole intokozo ethe xaxa, ugcina usuwenzisa isithandwa sakho izinto eziwumsangano yikhona uzokwaneliseka. Eyamanje imifanekiso ye- pornography isinendluzula eyethusayo, eqeda isithunzi.
Ukudangala nokuzizwa ungelutho, yinto yokuqala ehlasela osebanjwe yisejwayezi se- pornography, ukudlula labo abangawenzi lo mkhuba.
Isizathu esihamba phambili salokhu wukuthi engqondweni ingxenye yobuchopho ehumusha injabulo iyaguga ngenxa yenjabulo yokuzenzela ( artificial) kangangoba ize ibe ndikindiki ingabe isenanela uma ubona izinto okufanele ngabe ziyayishukumisa imizwa yakho, kugcine kungasathi diki kulokho okade kukujabulisa phambilini.