UKUTHAKATHA NGOKOSOPOLITIKI ABAFUNA IZIKHUNDLA
BAKWETHU, umame ongizalayo yisangoma wethwasa iminyaka, waphasa.
Umkhulu ozala umame, iShangane laseMaputo, eMozambique, uSabastiao Feijao Manyike, wayeyinyanga eyazi umuthi othi thi, nami umuthi ngiwazi njengomlando weMoroka Swallows, ngingakushayela umuthi wokuthi udlule abantu bekubhekile - kangisho-ke ukuthi izigangi zilokhu zingifonela zifuna le nkeshe.
Inkinga-ke ngiwazi umuthi nginjalo, kunentokazi yakoSonqandile ngakithi KwaDlangezwa phesheya komfula weNkonjane osekuphele iminyaka engama-28 ngiyithanda kodwa ngeke ngiyisebenzisele isikhafulo esithathwa ngodelunina, abangqongqozi, ibheka, indabulaluvalo etc, wukuthakatha lokho.
Ukuthakatha yinto yosopolitiki ngoba befuna izikhundla. Ngisakhuluma ngosopolitiki nje, uma ngingaba ngusopolitiki namhlanje njengoba sengingugile, ngingavele ngife isikhathi sami singakashayi umphefumulo wami uyohlala e- waiting room yasezulwini eminye ibe ihleli emakamereni.
Ngiyabesaba osopolitiki, uyazi bangcole bayaxathuka, ungafunga ukuthi bayi- uniform kamakhenikha o- on duty! Sengingalokhu ngihamba ngithandazelwa nje njengoMengameli Jakhobe Surprise njengoba ngimbonile ngeledlule.
Namakholwa angamathatha, uma ungathi manje mawathandazele uMnu Cyril Ramathrow, azokutshela ukuthi umthandazo u- out of stock! Uma kodwa kwenzeka umfo weVenda eba ngumengameli emuva kukaMshosholozi wabantwana, uyowabona wona la makholwa esebeke izandla phezu kwekhanda lakhe ethi: “Nkosi baba mdali weZulu Royals noMhlaba Hlengiwe!
Siyakhuleka baba, sikhulekela iBuffalo Nkosi, iCR17 ukuba ilihole kahle leli lizwe, ingenzi Nkosi njengontabakayikhonjwa abebehlale benukwa ngokuphakelwa ngamaGubutha!…” Uma ubuza ukuthi lo mthandazo obu- out of stock usuqhamukephi, uyi- import yini, akutshele ukuthi: “Ukwenza kukaNkulunkulu kakubuzwa! Siyakubona ufuna udumo ngabantwana bakaNkulunkulu.
Uyabona mfana wami, uzoduma imbijana njengoMroza wodumo lokubulala uVan Damme!” Amanye amakholwa ayathanda ukuzi- positiona, ahamba neziwi- nayo. Bazalwane, ake nihlukane nepolitiki.
Niyeke nokulokhu nisenza izimbuzi la nithi naseBhayibhelini ipolitiki yayikhona, siyakwazi lokho. Sekucacile nje ukuthi indlala yenza abantu bacabange ukuthi uNkulunkulu yithuluzi lokwenza imali yesitokofela. Njengoba kukhalwa ngohlohlesakhe kwapolitiki, yinto efanayo nasemakholweni, amakholwa asebenza imali manje.
Uyabona nje uma ungacela la makholwa abethandazela uMengameli Surprise ukuba ayokhulekela uMnu Ramathrow kwazise i- stress sokuputshuka kwama- e-mail athi ubeyisoka lodoti yize ebeganiwe, ungawezwa kahle: “Asibakhulekeli thina abantu abaphingayo.”
Uma-ke umfo kaRamathrow ethi: “I-role model yami yiNkosi uDavide yaseBhayibhelini eyabulalisa u-Uriya ngoba ifuna umkakhe neNkosi Solomon eyayinenqwaba yezancinza…” Amakholwa ungawezwa kahle ebhoka… “Ukhuluma i-hogwash ngezinceku zikaNkulunkulu, uzosha esihogweni!”
Ngabe sibaswe ngoyisemkhulu! Amakholwa mawayeke osopolitiki bazixovele lolu daka lwabo. Bangcolile osopolitiki, akukho ngisho noyedwa nje engimethembayo.
Kwakhona nje ukuputshuka kwama- e-mail aveza uRamathrow njengenkunzi yohlobo eyona izithole, wukungcola kosopolitiki okwake kwamehlela naye uGedleyismayisila umfo kaSurprise.
Lo manindaba odlalwa kwaCongoloose uyophela mhla kwaphatha elinye iqembu. Ngikhuluma nje, baphelile abantu eMzimkhulu, kakubangwa ukusebenzela thina bantu abadla imbuya ngamachopstick, babulalanela ukudla izambane lika-R2.
Ama- neuron asengqondweni yomuntu alinganiselwa ku-100 billion nje, emakhanda osopolitiki wu-0.0000000001 wawo ocabanga usizi lwabantu abantulayo. Uzobezwa nje emuva kwalo mbhalo wami, kuyothi mabangidle bangishebe nama-makharoni lawa abazitika ngawo emahhotela besebenzisa imali yomphakathi ngoba iqiniso lifana nesitshopo kubona, liyahlaba.
Empeleni nje wukuthi emhlabeni siyizimpatha sonke thina esivotayo, kasibadingi osopolitiki as our middlemen ukuze sithole izidingo. Uma ngabe sibadinga kungani bonke osopolitiki befuna ukusiphatha? Kabafuni ukuphatha thina bafuna ukuphatha imali ukuze bahambe ngezimoto ezinesifumbu, bahlale ezindlini ezingangehhotela, babe nabafazi nga5.
Le nto uboyibona ngoba kuvele kuthathwe imfeketho nje eyahlulwa ngo-A,E,I,O U kwafestiya yabaleka yayosebenza ejalidini lomlungu yaba nenhlanhla yokuthi abangani bayo bayithatha kwathiwa makuvakashwe ekudingisweni, yenziwe imeya yonke!
Useyohamba ezishaya isifutshana sakhe umuntu ethi yena wayedingisiwe ebe azi kahle ukuthi yena wayephelezele abangani bakhe ababedingisiwe.
Kunosopolitiki abahlulwa wukufunda izinkulumo zabo ezibhalwe ngesiNgisi - umuntu adle amazambe, uze umdabukele, umxolele.
Hhayi anikwe inkulumo ebhalwe ngesiZulu kufane, uvele ubone nje ukuthi yi- vomit of the dog le okuthiwa yazibonelwa yiNkosi Man go Sooth Boothless le.
Ukuba kuya ngami nje, ngabe osopolitiki bahleli kuma- archive kusebenza izimenenja, abaqondisi etc, hhayi osopolitiki laba abafosha imali yabakhokhi bentela mahhala so.