Mkhulu umehluko phakathi komuntu wesilisa nendoda
KUYINYANGA yamadoda, sibuyisela ubufana ebafaneni, ubunsizwa ensizweni, sibuyisela ububaba kubaba, sibuyisela ubukhehla ekhehleni sithi isithunzi sabantu besilisa masibuye sime.
Amadoda mawabe yisibusiso emakhaya nasemphakathini, angabi yisiqalekiso. Masingalibalekeli iqiniso lokuthi kayikho indoda edlwengulayo futhi kayikho indoda eshaya umuntu wesifazane nehlukumezayo, kodwa laba bantu abenza lokho ngabantu besilisa.
Usuke unebhadi uma ungowesifazane uhleli nomuntu wesilisa endlini, kodwa usuke unesibusiso uma uhleli nendoda endlini. Bekufanele bonke abesilisa baqhubekele phambili basuke ekubeni ngabesilisa kodwa babe ngamadoda.
Uma uzoba yindoda-ke, uqina ukhakhayi futhi ukhule. Umbuzo omkhulu oqhamukayo uthi yini umehluko phakathi komuntu wesilisa nendoda. Indoda ngumuntu wesilisa onamabhuleki kanti umuntu wesilisa yindoda engenamabhuleki.
Ngeke sakubalekela ukuthi ngisho ungaya emajele amakhulu abantu abaningi abagcwele khona kakuzona izigebengu kodwa ngabantu besilisa abehluleka wukuzibamba noma ukubhuleka.
Umuntu owangifundisa ukushayela wathi kimi: “We Sthembiso, ubophuma ngemoto uye emgwaqweni amathayi engalungile, akukubi kakhulu uzofika la uya khona noma igugile uyofika ngeNkosi kodwa ungaphumi uma uwezwa amabhuleki ukuthi kawabambi.”
Ejele kugcwele abantu abahluleka wukuzibamba. Umuntu wathi ebona imoto okungeyona eyakhe, wehluleka wukuzibamba wayintshontsha, omunye wabona imali ihleli kabi emsebenzini wehluleka wukuzibamba wayitshontsha, omunye wacasulwa ngumuntu wesifazane wadinwa washaya, omunye wabona umuntu wesifazane wamhalela wathi uma eshela wangaqonywa wehluleka wukuzibamba wadlwengula.
Abantu abaningi besilisa ba- phelelwa ngamabhuleki futhi sizokhuluma ukuthi abantu besilisa abanale nkinga ekuthiwa yi- factory fault, konakala emakubo la bezalwa khona.
Sizokhuluma ukuthi uwafaka kanjani amabhuleki enganeni encane yomfana, uyifundisa kanjani ukuthi ikwazi ukuthatha impendulo ewu-cha.
Kakusiyona yonke into okufanele uyenzele ingane yakho uma iyicela, ngesinye isikhathi kufanele wenqabe noma amandla ekhona ngoba uyifundisa ukuthatha u-cha njengempendulo - ukwazi ukuhlukanisa ukuthanda ingane nokuyitotosa.
Ikhona into ebucayi ewumkhuba omubi okufanele sikwazi ukuyigwema, ikakhulukazi njengendlu emnyama, ebhebhezela ukuba abantu besilisa babe yizilwane.
Sike sakuthinta kancane kweminye yemisakazo emikhulu ukuthi yini into edala izilwane. Isilwane yinto ekhula imbona unina kodwa ingamboni uyise. Ichwane likhula libona isikhukhukazi kodwa lingaliboni iqhude, inja izala umdlwane uyoncela uyise engekho, nanguya echitha umgqomo eyojola nezinye izinja ushiye abantwana ngemuva nonina.
Izilwane eziningi uma zikhula zibona onina, hhayi oyise. Kuyiphutha-ke ukuswenka kakhulu ushayele izimoto ezibizayo, uphuze nabangani kanti ingane yakho kawuyazi, ikakhulukazi eyomfana.
Ukuba ngubaba nendoda eqotho enganeni kakusho ukuthi uyoze ube nemali eningi, kodwa kuyaye kuthiwe indoda yangempela ngekwazi ukulula izandla bese ingane igijima iyogona kuyise noma emaphaketheni akhe kungekho.
Amazwi atholwa yingane kuyise abalulekile, ikakhulukazi uma kungeyomfana. Ungajatshuliswa wukuthi uyigqokisa kahle izinto ezibizayo, inayo yonke inhlobo yamathoyizi kodwa kawuyiniki amazwi ngoba zonke lezi zinto ozithengayo, mhlawumbe kuyophela iminyaka emibili zingasekho ezinye zingasayilingani ingane, kodwa amazwi oyinika wona ayohlala ingunaphakade emqondweni wayo.
Iyophila ngawo ukuze ibe yindoda eqotho kusasa ngoba amazwi ayingunaphakade. Singeke salibalekela iqiniso lokuthi amadoda aphezulu athi uma ebonga ethula inkulumo athi: “Ubaba wayevamise ukuthi…” ambalwa athi ubaba wanginika ukuthi.
Maye enganeni enikezwa izinto kanti kayikaze inikezwe amazwi! Ziyahlomekisana zinto nengcebo onikwa yona kanti amazwi kawekho. Uma singamadoda kufanele sikwazi ukuhlukanisa phakathi kwemali nathi ngoba sinomkhuba wokuthi imali yesondlo ngiyayihambisa kanti imali kayikwazi ukukumela ube ngubaba, kudingeka nawe ukhulume phezu kokhakhayi nasezindlebeni zomfana wakho.
Elinye iqiniso lithi izwi likababa lilodwa, lilingana namazwi kamama awu-500. Ubaba ukhuluma kanye uzwe ka-100 kodwa umama ukhuluma ka-100, uzwe kanye.
Sengiphetha, yini ingane? Ingane nguwena unikezwe ithuba lokuphila kabusha. Kawukho umndeni ohluphekayo uma ungafundisa ingane upatanise uyithande, iyokhula ikuhlalise emzini kanokusho ngelinye ilanga.
UNkulunkulu akabusisi wena ngqo kodwa ubusisa ingane yakho ngawe. Makube yileyo naleyo ndoda ingabushiyi ubudoda bayo, lifudumale ikhaya uma kukhona indoda nengane yomfana. Sisazokhuluma silungise iphutha lokuthi indoda kayikhali.
*Uma ufuna ukuthola uMfu Zondo bukhoma, vakashela ibandla lakhe njalo ngeSonto ngehora le-10 eJewish Hall, eNorth Beach maqondana nePavillion Hotel ngo11h00. Ungaxhumana naye kwethi: 078 419 1024; Ungamshiyela nomyalezo kuFacebook: Sthembiso Zondo Fan Page noma kuWhatsApp: 082 070 8034
ILANGA,
*UPastor Sthembiso Zondo ngumeluleki nomethuli wezinkulumo ezakhayo. Uzobe ephendula imibuzo yabafundi ngezinkinga zempilo nezothando kwiLANGA LangeSonto.