Ukuhlukumeza akukwenzi umnqobi
NSUKU zonke sifunda emaphepheni noma sibone kwithelevishini kukhulunywa ngokushaywa nokubulawa kwabesifazane okuyinto eyenzeka emphakathini nasezikoleni.
Okubuhlungu wukuthi konke lokhu uma kwenzeka abantu abagxekwayo yilaba abahlukumezekayo ngalolu dlame, abanye babo baze bathi bayimbangela yokuhlukumezeka kwabo. Lokhu sekwenze amanye amadoda asho ngeqholo ukuthi kuzoqhubeka ukushaywa nokubulawa kwabesifazane uma bengashintshi indlela abaziphatha ngayo.
Lezi zinkulumo zenza la madoda azizwe esempini noma kube sengathi asemkhankasweni wokulungisa abesifazane ngandlela thize. Ngineminyaka ecishe ibe ngu-20 ngisebenza namadoda nabafana ezinhlelweni zokulwa nodlame olubhekiswe kwabesifazane nezingane. Ngifuna ukusho ukuthi amadoda amaningi ake ahlukumeza abesifazane azovumelana nami ngokuthi uma uhlukumeza owesifazane uzizwa unqoba noma unamandla kodwa lokho akuyiqedi inkinga ozama ukuyicindezela emqondweni. Amadoda ashaya abulale abesifazane kunezinkinga abhekene nazo empilweni kodwa acasha ngabesifazane ngoba yibona abaseduze nawo nababuthakathaka ngokwamandla.
Kuyiqiniso ukuthi siphila esikhathini lapho sibona abesifazane bethuthuka ngokwezinga lempilo bephatha nezikhundla eziphezulu emsebenzini nasezinhlanganweni ezehlukene. Lokhu akwehli kahle kubantu abebekade bazi ukuthi sonke lesi sikhathi yibona abebengamele wonke la mathuba. Lolu dlame aluyona nje inkinga yobulili kodwa neyamandla ezindaweni ebezaziwa njengezindawo ezifanele abathize ngokobulili. Uma ungakukholwa lokhu engikushoyo, khumbula ukuthi uma kuphela umbuso wobandlululo abamhlophe baphatheka kanjani? Abantu baxoshwa emsebenzini, kwavalwa izinkampani, abanye abamhlophe basabisa ngokulishiya leli bakwenza konke okwakuveza ukuthi abaneme ngokulingana ngokobuhlanga.
Ngakho nalo udlame olubhekiswe kwabesifazane luhambisana nenzondo ebhekiswe kubona kodwa kungeke kuzuze muntu. Ngiyafisa ukuqwashisa amadoda anodlame ngokuthi ekugcineni akekho oyonqoba ngoba nabo abesifazane badalwe nguNkulunkulu futhi banelungelo lokuphila njengoba uNkulunkulu abadala ngokomfanekiso wakhe.
Ukushaya nokubulala kwenza uzizwe ungumnqobi ngaleso sikhathi wenza lokho okwenzayo kodwa akushintshi ukuthi impilo yakho inezinkinga futhi okudinga ukuthi uziqonde ngqo. Ukungazethembi kwakho ngeke kubuyiswe wukushaya umuntu wesifazane kodwa ekugcineni kuyokwenza ukuba uzizonde wena uma usubuya umqondo wakho.
Ukubulala owesifazane akubaqedi emhlabeni kodwa kwenza ukuthi uzondwe yilabo abathanda lowo ombulele futhi nawe ugcine usunezitha singekho isizathu. Ngiyazi ukuthi indlela esafundiswa ngayo yilena ethi indoda ayikhali kodwa ngikhuthaza amadoda azizwa egcwele inzondo nolaka olubhekiswe kubantu besifazane ukuthi aye ezikhungweni eziluleka ngokomqondo axoxe ngezinkinga ezenza abe nale nzondo asuke enayo ukuze athole usizo nokuthi kubuye ukuzethemba kuwona. Ubudoda bakho mabungambathiswa wudlame kodwa yiba yindoda ehlonipha abesifazane nezingane.
UMnuz Vusi Cebekhulu uyiRegional Senior Trainer yeSonke Gender Justice