Sexist norms must be challenged

Last week, a storm about the sex life of Deputy President Cyril Ramaphosa erupted. His decision to take the matter to court left some salivating about what details he was trying to suppress. The editor-at-large of Huffington Post, Ferial Haffajee, wrote in her article titled “The sex scandal won’t kill Ramaphosa”: “Powerful men like bevies of women around them as symbols of their power: pretty much as they like pulling up their cuffs to reveal an expensive watch or use a fast car as an extension of their drive. It’s patriarchal, demeaning and sexist but it’s a phenomenon and Ramaphosa will not be mortally wounded by his first public sex scandal.”

The Ramaphosa story follows that of Minister in the Presidency Jeff Radebe, who was exposed for sexting a younger colleague.

In an unexpected, disgusting turn of events, the alleged roving eyes of the two presidential candidates, Ramaphosa and Radebe, have turned the focus to their wives who happen to share the Motsepe surname. More specifically, it focused on their performance in the bedroom.

It is typical of a patriarchal society to shift blame and focus from the man as the wrongdoer to shame women who have nothing to do with the matter. The trashy behaviour of two adult men is being condoned by questioning the sexual ability of women. This is short of saying the women made the men cheat. It absolves the men of any responsibility for their actions. Instead of questioning the men’s lack of restraint and their loose morals, women are being blamed for the actions of men. This demeaning question about the performance of the Motsepe women in the bedroom seeks to justify the actions of their husbands who were caught with their pants down.

It cannot be right that society does not challenge a phenomenon that is sexist and demeans women. It is time for men to take full responsibility for their actions and the necessary punishment should be meted out if it needs be.